The Swan, Blakedown

# 276

Date: Thursday 24th October 2013 

Pub: The Swan, Blakedown

Beers: Hopeless, EPA, Thatchers cider

Food: off the menu

Hares: Dr Jeckyll and Shirley

Trail: The horses, trains & automobiles hash! 

22 excitable hashers, with a big medical contingent tonight, 1 Demon Dog, the usual chaos on the car park with lots of interruptions requiring reprimanding by Cross Dresser. The dinner order was finally sorted, we got the lowdown from Dr Jeckyll, our virgin hare, and then we were off.

A great mixture of on and off road this evening, starting out on the Birmingham Road, going up and over the railway track, then back down through the houses and onto Mill Lane and around Churchill. Not much calling out from the FRBs but the hash horn was reliably sounding out up ahead. 

Hash Quack was on one, Bushwhacker and Russell Sprout were the hapless duo and Shag was mesmerised by shrinking buns. Across the fields and a herd of frisky horses slowed us down a little but horse-whisperers Penelope Pitstop and the Pro took the gently, gently approach, whilst Who’s the Daddy took a more manly approach, sending the horses galloping away. Back over the railway line and the gentle hum of a train approaching. Like starry-eyed children, we all stopped to watch it go by, apart from Hash Quack who was obliviously checking out the route a few fields away…

Plenty of Haribo at the first HH gets Dr Jeckyll his first brownie point and then we faced our next obstacle – the road. All was quiet for the first few to cross, then a commotion developed behind as the rear two thirds of the hash stopped the traffic. A large queue was forming behind a lorry and the hashers were relishing the attention whilst they sauntered across the A456. All we needed now was the helicopter…

Down into the woods again where the paths got wetter and muddier, the hills got steeper but the flour remained in abundance, well, mostly. Sprout lost his shoe and got stuck in the mud, a group came to his assistance in searching for the muddied trainer, whilst the FRBs thought they’d taken the wrong trail. More uphill climbing after the regrouping and Lady Penelope was sure she knew the way…

It was a fair old trek to the next HH but the boys were rewarded with a great tree to climb and more Haribo for the rest of us. Hash Quack, still on one, was eager to check it out way too soon and headed off in the wrong direction. There seemed to be a little confusion about the way to go… or was the hare just making us work? We finally picked up the right trail, there was some barging at the stile and then a real “out-of-control” downhill – wa-heeeeeeey! 

The final furlong saw Lady Penelope up front, calling the way to a bemused Cross Dresser behind her who seemed to be impersonating one of the royal family. A few more country lanes and we were back to the on inn with food fit for a king.

Down downs: awarded by Doggy Fashion to our hares Dr Jeckyll and Hairy Shirley (not actually her name) for their perfect virgin hash with a fine array of obstacles; Lady Penelope the pill-popping, tom-tomming, FRB who also happened to arrive early - the new Porsche must be a faster ride than the range rover darling. Russell Sprout for becoming shoeless in the mud and having everyone else look for it; and finally, the RA felt it fitting to award herself a down down for helping with the shoe fiasco… well, why not?

Hot Lips x

Next week: The Angel, Stourport, DY13 9EW – Halloween Hash. 

Bring your spooky carved pumpkins, they will be taken to a secret HH and judged later…