Tuesday, 28 May 2013

The Waggon & Horses, Bewdley

# 255

Date: Thursday 23rd May 2013
Pub: The Waggon & Horses, Bewdley
Beers: Bathams, Banks’s Bitter & Mild, Robinsons cider
Food: spit roast chicken & chips or veggie curry & rice
Hare: Compost
Virgins: there was one, we just don’t know his name, sorry
Visitors: the Bodyguard & Mike 

Trail: One of the co-founders of the WFH3 is 50! Many happy returns Compost! Hashers, hashlings and hash hounds (almost one for each of his 50 years) congregated on the car park of the Waggon & Horses in their garden-themed fancy dress for the celebratory apr├Ęs-hash Cava. Some wonderful costumes to behold and some new faces on the scene too – hopefully not just for one night only. And here’s hoping that tonight’s sunshine will continue…

Lots of excitement from everyone, particularly the poorly green garden fairy, who thought she might not even finish the hash. Wearing her fancy pyjamas (just in case she needed a lie down, I guess) and armed with throat sweets she bravely croaked her way around the car park, waving her windmill. 

Cross Dresser finally gained control of the crowd to start the chorus of “Happy birthday to you…” Compost was given his birthday present: a new horn and then we were enlightened with tonight’s rules: “3 flat miles” – ahem, this is Bewdley! 5 hash halts tho so it’s not all bad. We were then pointed in the right direction and off we set.

Down towards Bewdley and much confusion as not a lot of flour or sawdust in sight, luckily Compost came cycling past giving us extra directions. Cutting up behind the Great Western, down Station Road and back towards the town with the first HH at the Black Boy Hotel. Plays with IT was caught lighting up but a round of the down downs song and happy birthday cheers to wash down the first round of beers put everyone else off the scent. A couple of beers in and there was a lot of “flop-a-lop-a-lop-a-lop” from Clodhopper!

Across the main road and down into Pewterer’s Alley, back down onto Stourport Road, across the bridge and along Severnside South. An impromptu photo stop at Gardener’s Meadow before heading up towards the 2nd HH at the Cricket Club with more sweets and beers and introductions to the newbie’s (or oldies) Bodyguard & Mike (who can’t remember if he ever had a hash name). 

A couple of snifters for our little green fairy meant she was starting to turn mischievous and getting more animated by the minute! She flew up the next hill as we headed up away from the cricket club and accosted Well Laid, who’s overalls were causing a bit of a scene but also as she had somehow made it as an FWB!

Racing on to the next HH at the Black Boy pub for more beers (& the refusal of water), the Pro got caught stealing the local rag and Say No More’s number wasn’t yet up but her crowning glory was subtly noted.

Through Hales Park and over to the Hop Pole for Pimms cocktail this time – my, he is spoiling us! The little green fairly was now slurring her words, losing her balance & being propped up by Shag. Meanwhile, the Pro was slugging from the jug in the most unladylike manner! (How very refreshing) A beautiful view over Bewdley, although another storm was now threatening…

A picturesque descent through the cobbled lanes, down to Welch Gate and down again to Severnside North, where Ellie was waiting for us with her birthday banner & a wee tipple of Port – hic! The Pro still had hold of her newspaper, Captain Caveman was contemplating “a dip in the stream,” then the rest of the crew caught up to enjoy the celebrations and a second round of birthday photos.

The final leg back to the on inn saw hashling Lost Skywalker racing ahead of Cross Dresser and the birthday boy somehow proficiently cycling back to continue the celebrations. Many happy returns Compost!

Down downs: awarded by a very merry jolly green fairy to Compost for his amazing birthday hash; the new boy (?!), Michael & the Bodyguard, Ellie for her refreshments, Well Laid for her Mrs Overall impersonation, for being an FWB & for falling; Penelope Pitstop for her birthday pole dance; then to the heats for the fancy dress competition: will it go to Say No More for her delicate daisy chain crown? Will it go to Copulation for his simple, yet effective, tribute to the birthday boy with his compost bag & plant pot helmet? Alas, no, the winner is Cyclopath for her family effort of the garden shed, garden fence and garden pond –well done!

Hot Lips x

P.S. Post-hash shenanigans saw Doggy Fashion stumble off into a hedge as Cross Dresser and Shag had to move Cleopatra’s car in order for Copulation to be dunked head first into a drain to retrieve her car keys – down downs to be carried over to next week methinks!

Next week:
The Lock, Wolverley (family friendly half term hash)

Monday, 20 May 2013

The Fox Inn, Hanley Broadheath

# 254

Date: Thursday 16th May 2013
Pub: The Fox Inn, Hanley Broadheath
Food: Beef or vegetable stew with mash & peas
Beers: Bathams, Holdens Golden Wonder, Robinsons & Old Rosie cider
Hare: The Amateur
Virgins: Georgina, Pete & Steve
Visitors: Babooshka

Trail: The Amateur let it slip that when he checked out this route, it was about 8 miles. When he laid it, he tried to cut it short but there was a problem with everything being so overgrown… He also informed us that there were no sweets or beers, which also didn’t go down well… So here goes… That said, it was a wonderful hash, beautifully laid in flour (plenty of) with some fantastic views, an interesting assault course and a welcoming on inn. 

28 hashers, plus half a dozen hounds set off down the road, with the usual yells of “CAAARRR!!” with every passing vehicle. It wasn’t long before we turned off the road and onto some much more pleasant terrain underfoot. Captain Cavemen had the horn this evening yet spent most of his time bantering with Sprout. Say No More was sprinting out across the fields early on, whilst Dr Whiplash was acting slightly suspiciously, only to later claim he knew what he was doing but didn’t want to give the game away too soon.

The Pro surprised us with sweets at the first HH - we knew she wouldn’t let us down! Some more lovely countryside, with lots of stiles and the witnessing of various methods of dog-climbing (or just simply throwing them over), plus a little “present” left on one for those stragglers at the back. Slim Boy Fat shared his stash of goodies at the next HH. Then we were warned of a few potholes…

The assault course – a slippy, muddy downhill with lots of tree trunk obstacles, nettles a-plenty, lots of holes in the ground waiting to trap a hasher (hardly potholes, Amateur!), lots of squawking from the girls on the way down but fortunately, not too many muddy bums.

The only thing with a lot of down is that there is a lot of up to follow! Some ran, some walked, one collided with a tree, rendering him blind until the Pro spotted the lost specs (thankfully, not trampled on by the over-enthusiastics).

Beers, more sweets (he’s spoiling us) and a guest appearance from Tits or Treats at the final HH and don’t we all look wonderful in our new hash t-shirts? We certainly need a group photo for the album!

The final leg and almost another sheep-worrying episode for Demon Dog, causing Doggy Fashion to assert her “womanly disgust.” All to be forgotten back once back at the on inn as she remembered her excitement at having a new hashling in the group!

Down downs: awarded by an almost uncontrollably excited Doggy Fashion to the Amateur for his assault course hash, complete with sweets and beers; our virgins: Georgie, the hashling (the cause for such excitement), Pete Savoury & Steve (?Sweet); Cyclopath for trying to be discreet but being caught with her pants down; more hashling action from Darth Radar and his wooden machete; Legover for flashing in the car park at the start; Game Bird for her stinking behaviour; Dr Whiplash and his stumbling Velma impersonation “glaaaaaaases” and finally, Shag was called up for his down down, only to be reminded he’d had his earlier – ouch! Ha ha! Pure comedy genius! (You had to be there)

Hot Lips x

Next week: The Waggon & Horses, Bewdley
Gardening fancy dress to celebrate Compost’s 50th birthday

Monday, 13 May 2013

Chez Hash Quack, Menith Wood

# 253
Date: Thursday 9th May 2013
Venue: Chez Hash Quack & Get Down Shep

Food: Homemade chilli, rice & salad, cheese & biscuits
Beers: BYO or wine from the Ward’s wine cellar
Hares: Hash Quack & Get Down Shep
Virgins: none
Visitors: none

Trail: A beautiful, picturesque trail around Menith Wood and Great Witley, with the bluebells in bloom and even a little sunshine to light the way. Lots of ups and downs, lots of luscious terrain, lots of attention paid to Annie by the other canines, lots of jostling by young Torchy (yet again!) and of course, lots of fun.

Get Down Shep approached the first HH heavily laden down by his paratrooper—style rucksack and we almost wondered why he was carrying it until we were treated to some rather special sweet and tangy worms. Golden Shower was found crouching alongside a Beetle but wasn’t checking his makeup; instead he required the delicate extraction of an insect from under his eyelid.

The rucksack was proving to be too much for our trooper and off he went short-cutting whilst the rest of us climbed the next hill and then went galloping off down through the fields with a cheeky sharp left-hand hairpin bend and yet another ascent to the next HH. Some hashers got a little too excited about the beers – maybe Slippery Nipples might have been more appropriate? 

A herd of manic sheep throwing themselves at a wire fence got Shag and his Demon Dog with our RA but she soon forgot this episode and started recounting how she was enjoying her new musical purchases, her Mystic Meg prowess and how she’d got her large jugs out in the school canteen.

Hash Quack nearly got herself in a spot of bother as it appeared that she was losing her own trail but the apple loops saved her at the 3rd HH and they were soon proclaimed to be the confectionery equivalent of panache!

Down downs: Doggy Fashion awarded down downs to Hash Quack and Get Down Shep for their wonderful hash, their wonderful hospitality and their re-routing of food money towards Early Riser’s charity run. There had been a lot of whingeing on facebook about this one, given Hash Quack’s previous history, but this hash was just lovely. Some beautiful scenery plus we were home before dark. We did see some changes in the weather along the way but all in all, it was a great one! Early Riser for his spectacular fall over a twig, right in front of Doggy Fashion so there was no way of escaping that one, and for his 10K run for charity at the weekend; Torchy the Battery Boy for his 50 mile bike ride on BH Monday plus him trying to jostle the RA along the way tonight; Captain Cavemen for short-cutting over a stile as the farmer observed this trespassing manoeuvre; Trenchfoot for surprising us all just after the 2nd HH then racing off ahead leaving those behind to wonder who on earth had joined us; Copulation for his Julie Andrews tribute to the wonderful countryside; and finally, to Leg Over, who didn’t get his leg over anything this evening as he was still nursing his poorly feet – all together now – aaaaaaaaaaah!

Hot Lips x
Next week: The Fox Inn, Hanley Child