Monday, 24 November 2014

The Camp House, Grimley


Date: Thursday 20th November 2014
Pub: The Camp House, Grimley
Food: Chilli, rice and chips with iceberg  garnish or vegetable lasagne
Hares: Legover and helpers
Visitors/virgins: Lovely to see Angie, and I think The Pimp is no longer just a visitor.

Also present:
Game Bird
Dr Whiplash
Doggy Fashion
Who's the Daddy
Russell Sprout
The Pro
The Amateur
Hash Quack
Golden Showers
Clodhopper and Jasper
Oh, and me!

You had to be hardcore to venture out through the fog to the back of beyond for tonight's hash...there was a distinct drop in numbers, as well as in temperature, from last week. Game Bird thought it was appropriate to crack open the Lidl sweets while we gathered in the car park. Jasper soon warmed things up by attacking poor Hash Quack.

It took a while to find the flour, but at least everyone was nicely warmed up before heading off through the mist along the river towards Worcester. 

Eventually we headed right by a little bridge before climbing some steps to the first hash halt. 

There was some confusion as we set off again through Hallow because some hashers made the mistake of thinking I knew where I was going. Sorry, The Pimp. Legover was doing his job, luckily, and soon put us right. It looks different in the dark!

And I didn't deliberately turn off my torch. I honestly thought I was shining my light towards those poor guys who ran off half a mile the wrong way, instead of sneaking down the side of The Crown. We didn't lose anyone though. 

We carried on through some houses, Shag's dulcet tones contemplating the meaning of life, the universe etc.

After another hash halt it was mostly across fields and there was much calling back from front runners (Who's the Daddy)...despite the huge piles of flour on the fence posts...

While the hashers were checking it out in the wrong direction I thought I'd have a sneaky wee but Legover picked the wrong moment to turn around to tell me to switch my torch off, illuminating me, just as the hashers realised their error and came back...

Everyone found at least one of the On Inns and made it back for the best chilli and lasagne ever!

Down downs:
Briefly interrupted by the indoor shooters selling raffle tickets, but subsequently awarded by Doggy Fashion to: 
Legover for a lovely winter hash, and to me for helping, enlisting child slave labour on a school night and for weeing on my trainers. 
- There was a Tale of 2 Daves...Clodhopper was thought to be farting throughout the hash, but it turned out to be Jasper's extendable lead making all the noise. And to Who's the Daddy for calling back twice and switching off his torch to sneak up on unsuspecting hashers.
He also got caught up in Game Bird's bush🌳.

Ok, bye!

Cleopatra x
Next week: The Pavilion in the Park, Worcester. Plays With IT.

Friday, 14 November 2014

Bristols' 30th Birthday and Engagement to Golden Showers African Safari Hash!

#334 Bristols' 30th Birthday and Engagement to Golden Showers African Safari Hash!
Date: Thursday 13th November 2014
Pub: The Fox Inn, Hanley Broadheath
Food: Hearty stew and chunky bread
Hares: Shag, Bristols, Golden Showers and Charlie the Demon Dog
Visitors/virgins: Ester, Clare and some of Bristols' mates whose names I've forgotten, sorry.
There was a very special announcement at the beginning of tonight's hash: Bristols and Golden Showers got engaged in Africa💕🐅!!!
The 25 or so hashers in African themed fancy dress gave a champagne toast to the happy couple. Controversially, some chose to run with an Ebola-protective-suits/masks spin on the African theme...just saying what happened; I won't judge.
I missed all this, and the beginning of the trail but I'm sure expectations were low as one of the hares had already broadcast that this was to be the worst hash ever. The puddles in the car park should have been an indicator of what was to come...
When Ester the virgin and I rocked up, three proper gentlemen had kindly waited for us: Legover, Shag and Ollie. We'd never have caught up otherwise and it would have been a rubbish first hash for Ester.
We ran at quite a pace to catch the others up, which we managed by the first hash halt. There was a rendition of Happy Birthday for Bristols and sparklers and fireworks courtesy of Legover. Oh, and loads of Lidl sweets. Did you collect the rubbish at 6am, Shag😇?
From then on, it was, as Crossdresser was to later describe, like the Battle of the Somme, which seemed appropriate with the 100 years' anniversary of the start of the First World War. Strictly speaking, the Battle of the Somme was 1916, but I'm just showing off because I know about these things.
We felt for the virgins, who were possibly regretting coming, not having been warned about extreme conditions. They battled on, across the fields, listening to the comforting tones of Shag's voice as he described Charlie's unfortunate incident with the barbed wire. Get well soon, Charlie!
There was a huge stash of beer, soft drinks and Lidl sweets at the second hash halt, just down the road from the pub. After consuming our body weight in faux Pinballs™, some of us felt it best to resist the temptation to follow the tarmac back to the On Inn.
We divided again at the very narrow path between a fence and a hedge, visions of barbed wire fresh in our minds. I overheard Bushwhacker and young Ollie talking about tractors (so cute), shortly before returning to the pub. We were joined by non-runners The Pro, the lovely Emma, Get Down Shep and Tits or Treats.
Also present and deserve a mention:
Game Bird, Doggy Fashion, Say No More, Plays With IT, Russell Sprout, The Amateur, Clodhopper and a well-behaved Jasper, Hash Quack, Dr Whiplash, The Pimp, Well Laid
Down downs:
Awarded by Crossdresser to hares Shag, Bristols and Golden Showers for their muddy hash, then in a slick manoeuvre to Bristols again for having a big birthday. We sang Happy Birthday and Doggy accused Legover of dragging her down before we moved smoothly on to the subject of the engagement. Gifts of a ball and chain, flowers and a shotgun were given out.
Crossdresser welcomed the virgins and would have given a down down to Clare for the best alligator costume but she did a runner.
Young Ollie got a pint of water for complaining to Tits or Treats that Uncle Shag never calls him .
Game Bird had made one of those amazing Guinness cakes.
Sorry if I've forgot anything or anyone. It's a big responsibility, you know.
Cleopatra x
Ps could somebody please confirm that I've got Stuart's hash name right?
Next week: Legover, venue TBC

Brookfield House

Hash 333
Date: Thursday 6th November 2014
Venue: Brookfield House, Wolverley
Food: homemade bangers & mash
Beers: BYO
Hare: Clodhopper
Visitors/virgins: none
Trail: Clodhopper's Bangers & Hash
There was a doggy theme tonight - Say No More had spied an apparently good dogging spot before we'd even set out - Say No More indeed!
Jasper was very excitable inside and out and then Demon Dog appeared and got to marking anything and everything in an equally excitable manner (much to Game Bird's amusement)
And so, 16 hashers, 2 Hashlings, 2 hash hounds, some overly bright torches, some rain, order called by Who's the Daddy and tonight's trail introduced by Clodhopper: laid in sawdust, about 5 miles, 3 and you're on and 3 hash halts.
Lassie was brave in his bare legs and brand new trainers and he and the Amateur were off, checking every which way right from the start as we headed back down towards Wolverley. Confusion at a crossing meant that, quite effortlessly, Game Bird and myself became FRBs!
Into the boggy fields of no mans land and down to Wolverley Court Lock and the first HH. All sorts were shared, Shirley was heard to mention threesomes but Shag had remembered the birds from around these parts...
More confusion as Whiplash fled off down the towpath, we duly followed, only to be called back and over to the other side. Shag mischievously led everyone up a falsie and was still chuckling to himself as his Demon Dog was also leading Jasper astray as he came close to upending Doggy Fashion and The Pro.
More off road, lots more mud and puddles, more FRB action from Game Bird, Doggy Fashion and myself until disorientation along the towpath found us near the back again.
The Pro had gone AWOL at the last HH, the Amateur lamented his woe and gave a sad blow of his horn but to no avail. We therefore set off for the final furlong, back through the lanes of Fairfield and more shaggy dog stories as Doggy Fashion told me of her pooch just as Jasper tried to trip her with his lead yet again!
A great hash and back to the on in for bangers and bangers and mash!
Hot Lips x
Down downs were awarded by tonight's guest RA Doggy Fashion:
Hopscotch for food and hosting
Clodhoper for the best hash ever and water skiing with jasper
Lassie for new shoes he drank his down down from
3 new namings:
Jody - Green Sleeves for always wearing green tops,
Will - Led Head as he has an led headlight but the light bit was missing from the elastic
And mum, Kirsty is Kinky Boots as she arrived at the firework party in lace up knee high boots the naughty girl xxxx
Next week: The Fox, Hanley Broadheath, WR15 8QS
African Safari theme