Monday, 31 December 2012

Brookfield House, Kidderminster

# 233

Date: Thursday 27th December
Venue: Brookfield House
Food: Home-reared, homemade plain & chilli sausages, mash & onion gravy and a selection of deliciously rich desserts
Drinks: BYO wines & beers
Visitors: Sybil (Malvern Hash)
Virgins: Rebecca, Harvey & Reece

Trail: So… no GM… no Hash Horn… no Hash Flash… no Berto… how could there possibly be a hash with so many off sick with the lurgy???  I was running late myself and feeling slightly bad that there might be just a handful of people waiting for me but alas, an incredible 20 or so hashers were gathered at Brookfield House!  A few fumbled (and failed) attempts to try & locate my torch and then we were off for a zig-zagging 5 miler around Kidderminster.  Starting off with a bit of tarmac and some wonderful Christmas lights down onto Marlpool and then some lovely mud and puddles on Puxton Marsh, not to mention the hare with his devilish tactics.  Back onto the estate, up towards the rugby club, up Marlpool Lane, across the Franche Road, down past the school with it’s  and over onto White Wickets.  Back around and onto Wilton Avenue with cries of “get to the sweets before Darth Radar!” we were too late tho, he was already at the HH and standing suspiciously close to a “pavement pizza.”  A little lesson in astronomy from Golden Shower and then the cheeky girls took a wrong turn up the alley but carried on on anyway (trying to confuse the hare).  Back over onto Ferndale and into the cornfields, where Clodhopper was determined to continue with his cruelty theme taking us the very long way home back to the on inn.  A refreshing dip in the pool for a few of us before indulging in the home cooked dinner (thanks to Hopscotch & folks).  A great hash, a great swim, great food and most of all, great company!  The after-dinner whip round was donated to Kemp Hospice.

Down downs: awarded by Doggy Fashion to Clodhopper for his hash that went on and on; Hopscotch (and folks) for their wonderful hospitality; Darth Radar for his Hash Heckling (…a new role maybe?) plus his forthcoming birthday this weekend – many happy hashing returns! To our visitor, Sybil for his 1st Wyre Forest H3 hash plus his introduction to Tangfastics – addicted already! To Doug for his after show appearance and reassurance that he IS invited to join us next time; Lassie for landing himself right in the smelly stuff (it still didn’t put him off his food!) and finally to Jade, Legover’s daughter, who only came because she wanted a sausage!

Hot Lips x
Happy New Year everyone!

Next week: The Waggon & Horses, Wribbenhall, Bewdley

Family Hash Saturday 5th January at 11am, Gardener’s Meadow car park, Bewdley,  in conjunction with the Wassail with Wyre and Wychwod event 2-4pm

There are still places available on the Malvern Hash weekend – see Say No More or Bristols for more info

Saturday, 22 December 2012

The Black Boy, Bewdley

# 232
Date: Thursday 20th December 2012
Pub: The Black Boy, Bewdley
Food: Sausage, chips & beans & bread & butter
Beer: Ugly Sisters, Banks’s Original
Hare: Crossdresser
Virgins: none
Visitors: none

Trail: it would have been easy to duck out of tonight’s hash with yet more rain and flood warnings but we’re hashers and we’re true so about 20 of us gathered for tonight’s watery trail. It didn’t really matter that only 2 thirds of it had been laid as most of the flour had been washed away anyway. And so, off we set, up to the top of Wyre Hill, through the estate, through some extremely slippery, wet and muddy fields (wellies would have been more appropriate footwear) and down to the first HH near the Hop Pole where Hard On’s Xmas prezzies caused a bit of a stir! On down through the woods to the next HH where a temper started to fray but Shag just about rescued the situation with his wise and witty words. Down and along Severnside North, where the river joined us on the path, threatening to take some prisoners. We all managed to escape into the caravan park and up to the 3rd HH at Crossdresser’s mum’s house where we were treated to some warming mulled wine - lovely. Soaked to the skin, we headed back to the on inn, only to be put into the dark room for supper. Saved by beer, sausages & chip butties and a very special gift from Santa!

Down downs: awarded by Doggy Fashion to Crossdresser for his “half a hash;” Shag for his Santa Special presents for Hard On; Hard On for being the most offended hasher; and to Cleopatra for encountering some repeating after her sucking.

Hot Lips x

Next week: Brookfield House, Wolverley, family-friendly hash, after hash swim then dress to impress.

Upcoming events:
Boxing Day hash – The Cross Keys, Suckley 11am
Family hash – Gardener’s Meadow car park, Bewdley, Saturday 5th January, 11am (in conjunction with the Bewdley Wassail with Wyre and Wychwood event 2-4pm)
Volunteers wanted for the Hash calendar...

Saturday, 15 December 2012

The Angel, Stourport

#  231
Date: Thursday 13th December 2012
Venue: The Angel, Stourport
Food: The best Christmas dinner ever!  Turkey / beef / veggie dinner with all the trimmings + Lassie’s mince pies + Game Bird’s giant Xmas cupcake
Beer: Banks’s mild & bitter, Sunbeam, Thatcher’s scrumpy cider & Strongbow
Hares: Hash Quack (live) plus help from Get Down Shep
Virgins: Claire & Gary & 2 other girls!
Visitors: none
Trail: Wow! An excellent turn out for tonight’s Christmas lights hash.  A sparkly Christmas fairy, a twinkling Christmas tree and plenty more Christmas lights, tinsel and a few baubles set off down the river, with a little confusion at the start, causing us all to run around in circles before picking up the right trail.   Once we got going, the beautifully illuminated trail of hashers was really a sight to behold on this cold & frosty evening.  We thought we may have lost a couple at the first HH (at least we still had the virgins) but maybe there’d been a miscalculation at the start…?  Oh well, back down the river, to the marina and out onto Sandy Lane where a few thought they’d try to see how many hashers they could get into a phone box (they’re crazy and they know it).  Across onto Hartlebury Common, where the sandy, hilly terrain ensured we knew who’s trail this was!  Back down past the old power station and to the on inn for the best meal of the year!  Merry Christmas all!!

Down downs: Hash Quack for being the live hare and keeping this chilly run to a reasonable distance (it MUST be Christmas!); Virgins: Claire & Gary (for not getting lost); Lassie for his dessert contribution; Tits or Treats for her new floss and also for only realising this was a live trail on the way back; Hard On for his new boxers; Sponge Bob for the best fancy dress (Christmas Pirate!); Chase the Rainbow for his admission of his hatred for sprouts and tonight’s rustling in the leaves, earning him the new festive name “Russell Sprouts!”
Hot Lips x

Next week: Black Boy Wyre Hill, Bewdley (no dressing up)

Saturday, 8 December 2012

The Steps House, Stourport

# 230
Date: Thursday 6th December
Pub: The Steps House, Stourport
Food: off the menu
Beer: Bathams bitter, Guinness,  Stowford Press cider
Hares: Shag & Tits or Treats
Virgins: none
Visitors: none

Trail: This pub has the steepest, smallest car park meaning parking was a feat in itself! But despite this and the rainy conditions (again), about 20 or so hashers and a few of the usual canines dressed to impress in their red dresses and tinsel boas.  Starting off with the steep uphill climb behind the pub and into town to dazzle along with the Xmas lights (& causing lots of tooting).  More checks than spots caused a little confusion at times but we somehow managed to stay together, getting to the 1st HH down at the riverside park.  Too much rain to hang around, so lip gloss was reapplied and we were off again, up the steps onto the bridge and down towards Areley Kings, where we were treated to Bucks fizz and beer at the 2nd HH.  Heading back towards the Dunley road, crossing over and onto the Walshes estate, where anything could happen… and it did…  A marked police car singled Copulation out and kerb-crawled him, finally pulling him (over).  Was it the backless dress?  Was it the amount of flesh on show on this cold, cold night? Or was it just a case of WTFs going on?  And so, let off on a caution (heels rather than flats, obviously) he rejoined the rest of us to make our way, rather uneventfully, around the rest of the estate.  Another 2 HHs with plenty more sweets, then back down along the river, crossing the one and only bridge in Stourport (honest gov), past the funfair and back to the on inn.

Down downs: awarded, rather appropriately, by Crossdresser (tonight’s stand in RA) to the hares for their great hash, almost only laid in checks and their domestic regarding the bridge over the river Severn; honourable mentions on the dressing up to Hard On (irresistible?) and Wrong who caused a bit of a stir back at the on inn but down downs for Slim boy Fat who’s outfit resulted in a bit of moob chafing and Copulation who’s saucy outfit resulted in being pulled (over) by a copper! Namings: Phil, now known as The Fiddler, for telling people he’s in a job where he plays with it… oh, IT! And James, who ate almost his own bodyweight in skittles, resulting in him being named Chase the Rainbow.  More down downs for Game Bird for NOT getting engaged but being a homewrecker (?); Legover for his Saturday night out 2nd only date – he’s not called Legover for nothing y’know! Eamon for his 1st ever hash when he’s not driving so he’s drinking (and he;s desperate) and finally (because there was one left over) for Lassie for turning up in his uniform…

Hot Lips x

Next week: The Angel, Stourport (food order to Lassie via link on website asap)
This Saturday: Bikini & Bermudas party at Brookfield House, 7.30pm (children welcome)

Saturday, 1 December 2012

The Talbot, Cleobury Mortimer followed by food at Ron Hill, CM

Date: Thursday, 29th November 2012
Pub: The Talbot, Cleobury Mortimer (Rendezvous only).  Food at Game Bird’s Mum’s house
Food: Choice of soups with bread followed bycheesecake , Apple & Blackberry crumble & custard
Beer: Bring your own
Hares: Game Bird & Bristols
Virgins, Visitors: None

Trail: Some on-road stretches, but mainly a combination of frozen or muddy ground set with flour – just under four miles long. Fears that the bitterly cold weather might deter even the hardiest of hashers from taking on Game Bird’s challenge were soon dispelled with the turn-out of some 20 at the RV.

And talking of game, it looked as if a wild animal had escaped from the nearby West Midland Safari Park until closer inspection revealed the unmistakeable figure of Wrong fetchingly attired in a swanky Tigger costume. “It’ll keep me warm,” Wrong assured us. More about his “chaffing” later.

Equally fetching was the sight of Annie the Labrador adorned in a luminous yellow tummy warmer plus collar with red flashing lights. Just the job to avoid collisions with black, unlit doggies in the dark.

Off we cantered in search of the first blob of flour, grateful for an initial run of tarmac to get into our stride and warm up our freezing frames.  Three hash halts and plenty of squelchy mud later, we were climbing back up towards the Cleobury high street and a quick change in the Talbot car park before heading on to the welcome warmth of Game Bird’s Mum’s abode.

“Mum” had put on a selection of three steamingly delicious soups – chicken, carrot and leek & potato – with a choice of cheesecake and home-made fruit crumble to follow.  Most had both!  To the hungry hashers, it all went down a treat – a fitting occasion to celebrate the birthday of Dr Whiplash, who made short work of blowing out his candles on the cheesecake.

The only complaint came from “Tigger” Wrong, about the chaffing from the clinging cat-suit still stubbornly affixed to his body.  Offers to inspect the affected anatomy were politely declined!  No complaints, commendably, from a sporting Declan when a couple of pranksters (briefly) hid his fish-and-chips while he was fetching drinks.

Many thanks to Game Bird for guiding us in from the cold so expertly with her flour trail. And not least a big thank you to her Mum for warming us up with the perfect meal.

Down downs were awarded by to the Hares for an excellent hash, and to Tiigger, I mean wrong for his chaffing or was it his outfit. Finally to Hard on for selling on his red dress to Legover  with no hint of embarrassment, ready for next weeks hash!

Get Down Shep        Guest blogger 
Next week: The Steps on Gilgal, Stourport Red dress and tinsle boa hash

Saturday, 24 November 2012

The Cock and Magpie, Bewdley

# 227

Date: Thursday 22nd November 2012
Pub: The Cock and Magpie, Bewdley
Food: posh fish and chips
Beer: Cockerhoop, EPA, Guinness, Strongbow, Kronenburg, Stella
Hare(s): Doggy Fashion and Dr Whiplash
Virgins: none
Visitors: none

Trail: Wet, wet, wet!  It was amazing anybody turned up at all this evening as the torrential rain hammered down, leaving us all wondering if there would actually be a trail to follow.  All we really wanted to do was skip the run & head straight to the on inn but we were rallied round by Father Christmas’s positive spirit as she got us all watching the beauty of the rain splashing up from the car park in the car headlights…                                                                                                   Nevertheless, 16 hashers and Demon Dog (looking more like drowned rat) bravely set off following the falsies until one of the hares finally identified the correct trail.  Along the river, up to Bark Hill and to the first HH, where Game Bird was ribbed for her lack of refreshments and for hiding her assets.  Winding down through the streets and alleyways where some paths were certainly slippery when wet and the Amateur got into a bit of a scrape.  An impromptu HH to make sure we all made it, then back down, past Ribbesford church and down to the next HH under the bypass, where Bewdley Bill’s artwork was – ahem – admired.  This would have been a lovely trail but the inclement weather finally beat us resulting in everyone shortcutting back along the river to the on inn.

Down downs: awarded by stand-in RA, Shag, to the hares: the dog & the doc, who’s drinks were also romantically attached; Father Christmas for only coming once a year (although she pointed out that she’d actually already come twice this year!); then there were nominations for the final down down: 1) Hard On for his on inn entertinment – he’s sexy and he knows it (???); 2) Tits or Treats for taking a pee under the HH bridge;  3) Game Bird for what she had tucked in her knickers and 4) Hot Lips for her Bridget Jones fiasco – Hot Lips got the down down.

Hot Lips x

Next week: The Talbot, Cleobury Mortimer (food at Game Bird’s mum’s afterwards - BYO drinks please)
This Sunday  25th November, 11am, The Fox Inn, Hanley Broadheath, joint hash with Oxford HHH (families welcome too)

Monday, 19 November 2012

Eagle & Serpent, Kinlet

Eagle & Serpent, Kinlet
Food: Chilli and jackets, or cheesy beans and jackets
Ale: Hobsons Mild, Hobsons Town Crier, Enville Ale, Robertsons Cider, a dry martini (shaken not stirred) for Berto
Hares: The Amateur & Penelope Pitstop

Another muddy Hash

There was an undefinable tension in the air as the hashers met at The Eagle & Serpent. Was it the return of Troll? Was it the mysterious disappearance of Penelope Pitstop after laying the trail with The Amateur? Or was it something else…….love maybe?

As the intrepid hashers set off, with the hollow words 'it's only about 4 miles' ringing in their ears, several whispered conversations tried to establish what was going on. Rumours circulated, and it seemed as though love was definitely in the air…..but who was it? Despite a number of people being in the frame, it turns out it was only The Gift Who Keeps On Giving…..namely Berto AKA Hard on! He'd only been pimping himself out.

Ladies, for £250 (what a bargain), you can have yourself an evening out with the pride of Clown Hill, the Italian Stallion, the one and only Berto. He won't touch, he'll be a gent, and he's a spitting image of Robbie Williams. Who could ask for more?! Crossdresser and Shag were heard to mutter bitterly, that if could get £250, they were surely good for £300! Sounds both optimistic and jealous.

Anyway, it's fair to say that all this love talk pre-occupied the hash, (apart from Shag, who was too busy be bagging Wrong) keeping it's collective mind off the knee deep mud, testing terrain and holes filled with sharpened sticks. Some tried feebly to determine where Penelope was tied up, but gave up fairly quickly. Wet Wipe tried to keep his trainers clean, Tits or Treats tried to stay on her feet and Troll realised it was nothing like Battersea Park!

BTW, it turns out Berto was lying about the £250! He did it for free, probably just in case he got the opportunity to show off his waxed torso!

Down Downs: The Amateur for an outstanding hash, Troll for leaving that London behind and getting his shoes dirty, Tits or Treats for a 2 1Ž2 tucked somersault, Wrong for allowing himself to be undressed by Shag

Crossdresser        Guest blogger

Saturday, 10 November 2012

Three Crowns & Sugar loaf, Kidderminster

Where's Wally fancy dress Hash
We found Wally!

# 225
Date: Thursday 8th November
Pub: The Three Crowns and Sugar Loaf, Kidderminster
Food: off the menu
Beer: Banks’s, Sneck Lifter, Ringwood, 49er, Strongbow cider
Hares: Cinderella & Darth Radar
Virgins: Phil, James & Jordan
Visitors: Carina

Trail: over 25 Wallys, Wendas, Oddlaws and Woofs (sadly, no Wizard Whitebeards) for tonights Where’s Wally hash, laid by the youngsters in a where’s the flour theme!  We all missed Doggy Fashion & Tit or Treats hiding in the car park and off we set down towards Franche, with a twisty-turny route onto Wilton Avenue and back out onto the Franche road and into the White Wickets field for the first HH, where we didn’t have to find Wally’s key or Wenda’s camera but we did have a few sweets.  Next, up towards the Briars, through Ferndale and onto the cornfields for the 2nd HH; again, we didn’t have to find Wizard Whitebeard’s scroll or Oddlaw’s binoculars but had some more sweets and some fizz.  Up to Low Habberley and into Habberley Valley, where it really was a case of where’s the flour!  To Peckett’s rock for the 3rd HH, where everyone actually stopped this evening!  We didn’t have to look for Woof’s bone but one of our virgins was caught looking for his clothes.  Out of the valley, cutting back down below the golf course, down to the Bridgnoth Road & back to the on inn.

Down downs: awarded by Doggy Fashion to Cinderella and Darth Radar for their wonderful hash – thanks kids! To our virgins, Phil & James, and also to Jordan for turning up in dayglow laces, relieving himself in public and then asking the RA for wet wipes back at the on inn, therefore earning him the name “Wet Wipe;” for the 2 birthday boys: Clodhopper & Who’s the Daddy; and for Game Bird to show our appreciation for her clever cup cakes (next week’s creation might need certification…)

Hot Lips x

Next week: The Eagle and Serpent, Kinlet. Wear off road shoes!!!

Who's the Daddy in his birthday suit!

Birthday cup cakes for birthday boys
 Clodhopper and Who's the Daddy

Saturday, 3 November 2012

The Greyhound,Norton

# 224
Date: Thursday 1st November 2012
Pub: The Greyhound, Stourbridge
Food: off the menu
Beer: Jennings, Banks’s Bitter, Guinness, Strongbow, Bulmers
Hares: Cleopatra, Hot Lips & Windy Miller
Virgins: Just Kate
Visitors: Rank & Jamie
Well it is Halloween and we're laying the Hash.
Trail: mud, mud and a bit more mud for this Trick or Treat spectacular!  A wonderful turnout of 30 Halloween hashers, (almost) all dressed up as spooky skeletons, ghastly ghouls and wicked witches for a 4-miler around the Staffordshire countryside (the 1st trick).  Starting off with a daring dash down Racecourse lane before getting off road.  Some lovely lanes and fields to the first 2 HH’s with lots of spooky sweets too but afterwards, the trail just got muddier & muddier.  A curfew back at the on inn caused panic at the 3rd HH with the whole hash shortcutting back for tea – boo!  Lovely Halloween cupcakes for Lassie’s birthday – thanks Game Bird!

Down downs: awarded by Doggy Fashion to the 3 Halloween hares; Hash Quack for the best Halloween costume; Just Kate, the virgin; our special guest, Den; Torchy the Battery Boy for losing a shoe in the deepest mud; and finally, to Just Andrea, for turning up to a hash last December, falling & injuring her ankle, not to be seen again until now; therefore earning herself a christening: Father Christmas.
Mentions: The husband & wife combo turning up to a fancy dress hash with one in the best costume and the other in no costume at all!  Worst “costume” therefore goes to Get Down Shep & also to Well Laid.  The “terrible trio” had a few scary treats for Doggy Fashion at the on inn; spit-washing, tights and leopard print boxers???  Hmmm. 
…And was it really a full moon out there or was Doggy Fashion lighting the way with her newly-polished gnashers?

Hot Lips x

After the REALLY muddy bit! Conspiracy amongst the hares!!
" ...I nearly had to leave Hot Lips and Windy Miller behind!"

Next week: The Three Crowns & Sugar Loaf, Kidderminster – Where’s Wally fancy dress
Hares needed for future trails please! Please let Clodhopper know if you can lay one

Copulation would like to do the Berlin marathon – please let him know if you are interested too.  He would also like a group skiing trip to be arranged for the first week in February 2013 – again, please let him know if you are interested.

Friday, 26 October 2012

The Brinton Arms, Stourport

# 223
Date: Thursday 25th October 2012
Pub: The Brinton Arms, Stourport
Food: off the menu
Beer: Hobgoblin, Banks’s bitter, Strongbow, Bulmers
Hares: Hash Quack, Get Down Shep, Just Olivia
Virgins: none
Visitors: Pussyfoot

Trail: laid in flour, thankfully not vomit, as Hash Quack had to retire on the grounds of ill-health; nevertheless, Get Down Shep & Just Olivia did a sterling job of keeping us all on track – well, almost!.  Along to St Michael’s church and down to the canal; up to Wilden Top, avoiding the footballers & fence; up to the main road and over to the Rifle Range, where a few of us were subjected to Hard On’s tales of women’s clothing and hair-removing cream at the HH!  Past the golf course and a lovely downhill to the On-Inn – now there’s one to remember!

Down downs: Doggy Fashion used the pub quiz’s break to award down downs in her very own quiz-style to Get Down Shep and Just Olivia, for their taking over of the trail (AND keeping it to a reasonable length!); Dr Whiplash for his expert IT skills; Italian Job on leave to join us; Crossdresser for his miss-dressing (apparently (& obviously) not an unusual occurrence); Torchy the Battery Boy for his relentless illumination torture (causing confiscation & disposal of his weapon into the nearest wheelie bin); and finally to Tits or Treats for her successful completion of the Amsterdam marathon last weekend (we’re informed that Shag completed it too but is not with us tonight as he’s too sore – we’re also hoping this is NOT related to the strap on…)

On on
Hot Lips x

Next week: The Greyhound, Stourbridge – Hallowe’en fancy dress

Friday, 19 October 2012

Ye Olde Seven Stars, Kidderminster

# 222
Date: Thursday 18th October 2012
Pub: Ye Olde Seven Stars, Kidderminster
Food: Fish & chips, Sausage & chips & just chips
Beer: Shropshire Lad, Teddy Bear, Guinness, Stowford Press, Thatchers
Hares: Compost & Hard On
Virgins: none
Visitors: Pussyfoot & Rank

Trail: Crossdresser welcomed 26 hashers this evening and said a few words about The Saint before we started.  A supposedly shorter run, but hey, Hard On can’t be supervised ALL of the time!  Rank finally caught up with us but Hard On, true to form, continued to get us lost! A very boggy run across Waterside Grange, up towards St Mary’s school – no wait, Hard On’s got it wrong again!  So, back into Springfield Park again, out into Broadwaters, up to Hurcott Road, past the end of Saint’s road, down through Baxter Gardens for the 2nd HH. Out onto the Birmingham Road, winding back down to the bottom end of Comberton Hill and through the town to the Town Hall for the 3rd HH.  It was a little busy here and so we made our way to the bridge over the river Stour for a few more words from Crossdresser and a minute’s silence as we remembered The Saint. 

Despite it being his run, Hard On still didn’t know his way to the On Inn!

Down downs: awarded by Doggy Fashion (who actually ran this evening) to Compost & Hard On for their interesting hash – it would have been a short one, as advertised, if Hard On had paid attention & actually known where he was going; Rank for turning up all the way from Harlow; Early Riser for his waitressing skills in the on inn this evening; Shag for Charlie, who was named Demon Dog for trying to knock hashers into the canal this evening; and finally one for Saint, RIP, and a few heart-felt words for all those there last week.

Hot Lips x

Saint’s funeral – 1pm at Wyre Forest Crematorium, then afterwards at The Island Pool (formerly The Cookley Arms) All welcome
  • Good luck to Lassie who will be running the Birmingham half marathon this Sunday.
  • Good luck also to Tits or Treats and Shag who will be running in the Amsterdam marathon this Sunday

Next week: The Brinton Arms, Stourport (NB we will try and keep things local to Kidderminster for a while, in case Den wants to join us for a drink after)

Thursday, 18 October 2012

Hashers remember

Saturday 13th October 2012
The Lock In, Wolverley

After the tragedy of losing The Saint last Thursday night, we chose to meet up again, in true hashing style, in order for us all to come together and support each other, console each other, and help each other through this difficult time.  Rather bravely, I thought, some of his family came along to join us too.  An evening spent amongst friends, trying to come to terms with what happened but also an evening bringing our diverse group ever closer.

The Saint had laid a trail from here just a few weeks earlier; a lovely run through Wolverley village, down to the night-lit water wheel in Broadwaters, past the bat watchers in Springfield park, through Puxton Marsh and back for a lovely bowl of chilli at the On-Inn.  I always loved Saint’s hashes; I have learned more about my home town and countryside from his different trails over the past 9 months (the short time in which I’ve been hashing) than all the years I’ve lived here, and I’m a local girl!

The Saint was one of our longer-serving members; he had been our RA and had christened most of our current hashers.  He always asked about people’s families and friends, making everyone feel welcome in our group.  Those who annoyed him were just called “daft buggers!”  He was a proud dad and granddad and loved it when the kids (Duncan, Tommie, Ethan, Caleb & Rosie) turned up to join the hash.  

In Graeme’s heart-warming tribute to The Saint, we heard about his “perfect trails,” his gentlemanly manner and his distaste for fancy dress, yet, he always made an effort.  We shared our memories and we learned a few things about him from Den too, particularly his obsession with cars!  

A gentle soul, with a wicked sense of humour, he was taken from us too soon.  He will be greatly missed by us all.

Rest in peace

Hot Lips

The Funeral is on Friday 26 October at 1pm at the new Kidderminster Crematorium DY13 8DE and afterwards at The Island Pool  DY10 3RX

The Dog, Harvington, The saddest hash of all

# 220
Date: Thursday 11th October 2012
Pub: The Dog, Harvington

The Saint 
29/1/60 – 11/10/12

On Thursday night "the Saint, Chris Hirst sadly lost his life. Our heartfelt thoughts and condolences go out to his partner  Den and all his family.
 All who  knew the Saint will have their own memories to remember him by.
I would however like to thank the farmer and his wife who were brilliant in the circumstances, but most of all I would like to say thank you to all the Hashers who were in that rain swept field on Thursday night, I will mention no names, you all know who you were and you all did your utmost, I am very proud to call you my friends.

You may not be here Saint but you will never be forgotten. 

The Amateur

Saturday, 6 October 2012

The Bell, Pensax

# 219
Date: Thursday 4th October 2012
Food: meat / veggie chilli, rice & chips
Beer: Hobsons, Stowford Press, Robinson’s
Hares: Crossdresser & Hard On
Virgins: none
Visitors: Squealer

Trail: Well, it started off fairly OK… although 4 were lost early on, whilst the rest enjoyed sweets at the first HH.  It didn’t really matter though because we looped back around to have the 2nd HH at the same tree; a heart marking the spot – the best bit of flour all night!  The next part of the trail saw a few more get lost… well, half of the group really, resulting in the hare with slightly more of a clue short-cutting - ahem - setting back to find the lost ones.  This left the hare with no clue whatsoever to help find the trail, a difficult task, to say the least, as the happy shopper had forgotten to put any flour down (but probably has some nice buns in the oven back home).  And so, the blind leading the blind, we found ourselves knee-deep in mud, almost losing poor little Maisie and Hard On losing his shoe (along with his mind).  We battled on, braving a road with HGVs, negotiating a stile at an angle a stile should never be, getting attacked by nettles & brambles and a lengthy discussion as to which way we should all be heading (thankfully we didn’t take Shag’s directions!)  A few of the FRBs set off with some sort of internal sat nav, leaving the rest of us stranded in a boggy cornfield with no way out.  And so, after almost losing the will to live, we walked the rest of the way, finding the On inn half an hour later than everyone else L                                  (luckily still in time for tea J)

Down downs: Awarded by Doggy Fashion to Crossdresser and Hard On for the worst hash ever; Lassie for his log roll; Squealer for her visit (not sure if she’ll return again after tonight’s shenanigans tho…?); Tough love, renamed as Torchy the Battery boy , his ever ready floodlight causing migrainous symptoms; and finally, Richard was christened Legover
Hot Lips x

Hash weekend – message from Hash Quack: please bring your bikes (mountain or road bikes); message from Doggy Fashion: ladies, please bring a skirt (penalties for those who do not obey the rules!)

Next week: The Dog, Harvington

PS!!! Some of the Scarecrows we didnt see last week!

Saturday, 29 September 2012

Scarecrow Hash, Belbroughton

Date: Thursday 27th September
Pub: The Talbot, Belbroughton
Food: meat / veggie balti, rice & naan
Beer: Scarecrow (plus a few others)
Cocktails: Strawberry kiss
Hares: Compost, Lassie & Pole Vault
Virgins: none
Visitors: none

Trail: Another good turnout for the scarecrow hash this evening; the fancy dress efforts greatly helped by Tits or Treats’ bag of straw.  A gentle run around the village and surrounding countryside, with a beautiful sunset and almost full moon to light the way… oh wait, no, that’s Torchy the Battery Boy’s latest floodlight; used as a strobe to sabotage some of the hashers’ performance and only turned off with the threat of a shotgun! 

Down downs: Awarded by Aunt Sally to Saint for his poor scarecrow attempt leaving him looking more like a Mexican, a farting Mexican at that! Hard On for looking like the lovechild of Fireman Sam & an Oompa-Loompa but also being so deluded that he proceeded to tell his dining buddies that he was actually very much like Robbie Williams!!  Unlaced for being the best-dressed scarecrow and finally to Tits or Treats for ripping a gate off it’s hinges – the final straw!

Special mention to Hash Quack and Shag for their marathons last weekend (particularly as Shag managed to have a full English halfway round!)

  • Good luck to Crossdresser, Game Bird & Shag for their forthcoming Triathlon this weekend.
  • Also to Lassie doing the multi terrain Waseley Wobbler this Sunday.
  • Hash Quack is also trying to arrange some more swimming sessions – let her know if you’re interested.
Hot Lips x

Next week: The Bell, Pensax

Friday, 21 September 2012

: The Kings Arms, The Crown and Sands, The Wishing Well, Spice Fusion…..and half of Worcestershire


Venue: The Kings Arms, The Crown and Sands, The Old Leaking Well, Spice Fusion…..and half of Worcestershire
Food: Curry in the end
Beer: Plenty of great ale in all the pubs (which meant none for us), Cobra in Spice Fusion
Hare: Game Bird & Half a Bag
Visitors: none
Virgins: none

The hash: Was it a hash? Was it a cruel test of stamina? Was it a training run for Hash Quack. No one's entirely sure, least of all the hares. Game Bird and Half A Bag walked around for a bit the night before, doing quite a lot of chatting. Therefore, they forgot some crucial aspects of a hash, namely a trail, checks, or crosses. They did include hash halts, once every 3 or 4 miles. Long stretches along the River Severn gave hashers an opportunity to enjoy the views and wildlife………IF IT WASN'T 9'O'CLOCK AND PITCH BLACK!

The combination of distance and route confusion lead to hashers being scattered far and wide in the dark. Not even the combined lumens of Tough Love (soon to be renamed Torchy The Battery Boy) and Hard On could light up enough of the fields to keep people together. An advance party set off, without realising, to establish a bridgehead back at the pub. Unfortunately, the relentless pace of Hash Quack spat Lady Penelope out of the back, and she was desperate for a wee, which didn't help!

The fellow hashers returned over the next day or so 20 mins, although the shout of 'Anyone seen Alison?' lasted a lot longer. After another pub rejected us, we 'got ourselves a convoy' to Spice Fusion, for a thorough debrief (in Game Bird's case, literally) and a delicious curry. Most hashers were home by Friday.


Game Bird for the 'hash', which had more miles than checks , more miles than crosses and more miles than food venues (just)
Clodhopper for having 'car park agorophobia' squeezing in between two cars in an otherwise nearly empty car park. Good job Wrong wasn't there!
Crossdresser and The Saint for trying to match the pace of Hash Quack once lost, and only just living to tell the tail
Hard On for ensuring he wasn't out-shone by Torchy the Battery Boy

The other hare, Half A Bag, had already decided it was too late to hang about, so her down down is carried over….

Next weeks Hash: The Talbot, Belbroughton

Guest Blogger Cross Dresser

Monday, 17 September 2012

Lock Inn, Wolverley

# 216
Date: Thursday 13th September 2012
Pub: The Lock Inn, Wolverley
Food: meat / veggie chilli & chunky chips (with spoons!!!!)
Beers: Marston’s beers, Strongbow & Thatcher’s Gold ciders
Hare: Saint
Visitors: none
Virgins: none

Crossdresser commended Copulation for his forthcoming Great North run

Trail: A distinct lack of ladies this evening but nevertheless a lovely 5-mile trail around Wolverley for just 15 hashers, 3 kids and 2 hounds.   We were lucky to find the trail at all apparently, as some kids followed Saint around kicking out the spots!  First up to the church, down through the village, across a field of horses and back down towards the village (I don’t think we were ever too far from the on-inn for this one) Down to the canal, up the 37 steps and along a narrow path where some of us missed the right trail - oops!  Down to Broadwaters park, with a lovely light show at the final halt.  Back through Springfield park, where we hope we didn’t disturb the bat watchers, finally back along the canal and to the on inn.

Doggy Fashion turned up for dinner and down downs again, awarding them to Saint, the hare; Tough Love for his newly acquired exceedingly bright headlight (earning him the name Torchy the Battery Boy); Dr Whiplash for his part in getting Tough Love, Shag, Cinderella & Hot Lips lost (not to mention him pushing Crossdresser and Shag into the stream at Springfield); Richard for getting lost before he’d even turned up; Spotted Dick for his kit contribution to the army hash (and breaking his toe!) and finally, jointly, to Hot Lips and Hard On for the three-legged incident.
Hot Lips x

Next week: The Kings Arms, Ombersley

PS  Hot Lips I’m quizzing to raise funds for Sight Concern next week so would be very grateful if someone could write the blog, many thanks x 

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Ye Olde White Harte, Kinver

# 215
Date: Thursday 6th September 2012
Pub: Ye Olde White Harte, Kinver
Beers: Banks bitter
Food: off the menu
Hare: Clodhopper
Virgins: none
Visitors: Dr Whiplash (Leamington Spa)

Trail: A fine, late summer’s evening saw about 20 hashers, 4 mini hashers and a couple of canine hashers in the picturesque Kinver.  Shag was momentarily halted in a 50 shades sort of way into the car park and had to resort to mobile distraction therapy but he was soon looking to go halves with Crossdresser on the meal deal.  A hilly and sandy one tonight around Kinver Edge.   Crossdresser left his ability to count on the Isle of Skye and called on-on along a falsie – we almost thought we’d lost him and the Amateur.  Plenty of fruity sweets to help us along the way – they certainly worked wonders for Batman & Darth Radar who remained amongst the FRBs right until the end – well done boys!  Torches required for the final furlong and a few bats encountered on the way back to the on-inn too. 

Doggy Fashion turned up for dinner and down-downs, awarding them to Clodhopper for his trail of a questionable mileage, plus finding out that he also forgot part of his own trail too, trying to send us the wrong way; Crossdresser for his poor numeracy skills; Tits or Treats for falling over Shag (misinformation as it was actually the Amateur that fell over Shag and the Pro but who really cares?); Dr Whiplash, tonight’s virgin whom we hope we haven’t put off; Wrong for LONG-cutting – that’s just SO wrong; Just Alan was named Slim Boy Fat and finally, Batman and Darth Radar for their impressive front running
Hot lips

Next week: The Lock, Wolverley