Saturday, 27 April 2013

The Fox Inn, Monkwood Green

# 251
Date: Thursday 25th April 2013
Pub: The Fox Inn, Monkwood Green
Food: Home made chunky vegetable soup with bread and after dinner mints!!
Beers: HPA, Butty Bach, Robinson’s cider
Hares: The Fiddler and Russell Sprout
Virgins: Just Olivia
Visitors: Babooshka (Malvern)

Trail: A lovely 5 miler, mostly off road this evening, around the Monkwood Green nature reserve, with a bag of flour supposedly used for each mile(?!)   This was certainly the safari hash, with more wammals than you could shake a stick at: the nesting swan and her angry mate, the sheep, the ducks and geese, the sheep, the cattle, the horses and yet more sheep. 
Fiddler and Sprout could probably be forgiven as the trail had most likely been eaten by said wammals, however, Sprout kept forgetting the route and leading us down unintended falsies, much to his amusement.  He had to show us the first 2 hash halts too as the flour was practically non-existent but we soon forgot those minor details once the sweets were opened.   
Previous warnings to take our maps went unheeded as we thought that the hares might actually have a clue.  How wrong we were!  The angry farmer confirmed this too… (if only we had a Lost in the hash – tee hee!)  After running rings around him (he’ll only suffer chafing in that boiler suit) we set off into another field to bother some more sheep.
 And so, more styles, a strange boggy field that had Sprout roaring with laughter again, an electric fence giving Game Bird a thrilling time but leaving Cross Dresser caught in the cross fire, more wammals (including a few lively horses) and a final HH with Panache.  …did I mention wammals?
Luckily, no one was lost.  We all made it back to one of the best on inns, if not THE best, for some homemade hearty soup & bread and the piece de resistance – the after dinner mints.  We don’t want to go home!

Down downs: awarded by Doggy Fashion (who was very impressed with the pub, it’s food & the after dinner mints) to The Fiddler and Russell Sprout for their controversial hash with live falsies and angry farmers advocating the use of maps (he did warn us!); Visitor Baboushka, Say No More for her hedgerow impression comparing the meerkat, Penelope Pitstop for getting herself caught in the gents; Game Bird for her shocks and thrills; and finally to  our virgin, Just Olivia, who was caught with handprints on her rear, resulting in a naming - Well Spanked.

Hot Lips x

Next week: The Black Boy, Wyre Hill, Bewdley

T-shirts – the first batch got an outing this evening and we were all very impressed!  If you would like one, let me know your size & I’ll order, H x

The Fox, Monkwood Green (part)at Garmin Connect - Details

Monday, 22 April 2013

250th Red Dress Hash, Kinver

# 250
Date: Thursday 18th April
Venue: car park behind the Constitution Club, Kinver
Food: Indian at Shimla Tandoori, Kinver
Beers: BYO (excellent selection at the Coop, Kinver)
Hares: Game Bird and Bubbles
Visitors: Captain Kremmen, Ball Bag (MH3), Tweeny, Stretch & Titanic (BH3)
Virgins: none

Trail: 30 hashers congregated in their finest red frocks for tonight’s celebratory WFH3 250th hash.  Captain Kremmen told us about the original Lady in Red, who sadly died last week.  He paid a fitting tribute as he told us about the history of the red dress hash.  A show of hands for tea & then there was no stopping us.  A dry trail this evening, lacking in flour, blamed on the gale force winds of the previous night but who needs flour when one of the hare’s an FRB?
Up out of the car park and onto the Compa, then back down to the high street and across the playing fields, turning a few heads and rendering some footballers speechless.  No sweets at the first HH but a game of human BMX kept us entertained – Wet Wipe was quickest but wasn’t wearing a dress so was surely disqualified?  Wrong was posing for pics but feeling a little shy so treated us to Cross Dresser’s lucky pants instead.
Off through the woods, through some of Kinver’s country lanes and a scenic route along to the canal.  Bristols was missing her Golden Shower at the next HH but his wammel got more of a welcome once he finally caught up.  Cyclopath faithfully said she preferred the Amateur’s horn, which put an extra spring in his step, particularly as he’d also seen a rare spot of flour. 
Bubbles then started to show his competitive nature, leading Copulation, Leg Over and a few more of us down a long falsie – we called him another name beginning with B for this.  We should have listened to our instincts, we knew we had to cross the next bridge.  Some more canal tow-path running and some lovely old cottages to view along the way. 
Now there might have been a lack of sweets at the previous HH’s but the finale made up for it all – Panache, flasks of tea, plates of sweets, homemade bunting, a smiling hostess and some groovy tunes – it was like being back at the school disco!  Cheers to our 250th hash.  Whizzo!
And so, with spirits raised, we set off to complete the final leg.  Bubbles, still the ever-competitive FRB, was first back to the on inn (hasn’t anyone told him that this is a non-competitive sport?)  Cross Dresser’s makeup was still firmly in place begging the question “where did you get that lip gloss?” I want some!

Down downs: Game Bird & Bubbles for their great hash and for Bubbles being the winning hare; Well Laid for locking her keys in her car; Wet Wipe for complaining about the lack of totty; Tits or Treats for her strangely silent return; and finally to Captain Kremmen, Slim Boy Fat and Lassie for their truly inspiring costumes!

Happy 250th hash everyone!

Hot Lips x
For those of you who have ordered t-shirts, we should have them for next week.     For those of you who haven’t yet ordered t-shirts, let me know your size & I’ll order, it’s not too late!  (We’ve gone for the round neck sports option for a tenner each, I’ve done a deal)  On on
Next week: The Fox Inn, Monkwood Green

Our route, Check it out!!

Monday, 15 April 2013

The Watermill, Kidderminster

# 248

Date: Thursday 4th April 2013
Pub: The Watermill, Kidderminster
Food: 2 for 1 off the menu
Beers: Hobgoblin, Breakspear Oxford Gold, Banks’s Mild & Bitter, Strongbow
Hare: Hot Lips (with a little help laying the trail from Father Christmas and Santa’s little helpers)
Visitors: none
Virgins: none

Trail: Plenty gathered for the first hash of spring; the weather’s not really spring-like yet, it’s still pretty chilly but at least it’s dry and torches have been put away for the “summer”. The Amateur managed to make me squeal on the car park before GM’ing for us whilst Cross Dresser’s gone AWOL. I managed to make Slim Boy Fat ad Shag growl with some (almost clever) door jamming. Game Bird fashioned some beautifully new white trainers (but managed to escape a down down later..) And so off we set, or at least we tried to but Hash Quack’s four-legged friend had other ideas of relieving herself of a little weight before the run. Never has anyone seen so many kids dropped off at once; were more animals involved or had Annie been saving herself for this special moment? Get Down Shep managed to stay well-out-of-the-way-Shep, whilst Shag caught the pooper-scooper up operation on camera – delightful. Lassie and Wrong checked out the wrong way and were STILL way behind but the next check enabled them to finally catch up.

Off down the canal towards Kidderminster but the lack of calling left Copulation running solo towards Stourport! By the time he’d caught up, we were already at the lock, near St Mary’s church, where 2 of the dogs decided to go for a dip in the icy water and Copulation complained about his apparently unmarked detour. A quick HH on the bridge over the river Stour and off up Mill Street, where copulation copped another cheeky falsie up a long, steep flight of steps – glutton for punishment this one!

Wrong was being taken places he’d never been before (up the steps opposite the old Mill Street Hospital to name but one) and before long we were heading up the rear of St John’s church. Much confusion was caused at the next check as everyone scattered, crossing roads and taking every which way except for the right way (I am but a simple girl). A little help was therefore required to get everyone back on track and we ascended Pineridge Drive, where some of the residents had washed away some of the trail, much to the Amateur’s disgust. Another HH down “dog shit alley” (it still didn’t stop anyone enjoying the sweets) and off to St John’s Avenue, although Copulation and Lassie decided I wasn’t to be trusted and went off in the wrong direction, yet again!

Up through Habberley estate, across Bewdley Hill and into the park for the HH with Panache! Dr Whiplash and Copulation couldn’t resist the challenge of climbing the tree; very pleased with themselves once they were up there but their faces told a different story once they realised how far they had to jump back down. Back down through the streets and into Brintons Park where everyone but the Amateur and Say No More got whiff of the on inn and shortcutted back to it, leaving the final HH abandoned. Oh well, at least we got back early for tea!

Down downs: Hot Lips for a rare short, dry run; Hash Quack for the chocolate fudge fiasco; Get Down Shep for his getting away Shep; Shag for being the owner of the other canine of chaos; Copulation and DR Whiplash for their enthusiastic tree-climbing and their much less enthusiastic descents; finally to Leg Over for needing the RA’s assistance with his strings in the car park – pull the other one!

A final mention (and down down) to Doggy Fashion herself for her successful completion of the Towse 10K last weekend – well done DF!!

Hot Lips x

Next week: The Waggon and Horses, Bewdley

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Joint hash with Birmingham/Wyre Forest/Malvern/Leamington Spa/Milton Keynes/Belgium H3

Joint hash with Birmingham/Wyre Forest/Malvern/Leamington Spa/Milton Keynes/Belgium H3

Date: Saturday 30th March 2013
 Pub: The Vine, Clent
Food: posh nosh off the menu
Beer: Thwaites
Hares: Tweeny, Penelope Pitstop, Pot Belly and another BH3 hasher
Hashers: An egg-cellent turn out for this Easter hash, about a dozen from WFH3 and other hashers from Birmingham, Malvern, Leamington Spa, Milton Keynes, even one from Belgium, plus the rowdiest rabble of dogs you’ve ever heard – oh joy!


Starter: the Easter bunny had been busy in the Vine’s garden so our first stop was to find the 30 creme eggs hidden in the snow.  Hopscotch and I swiftly found ours on the patio and savoured them smugly whilst we watched everyone else manically searching for theirs, whilst also dodging the snowballs.  Darth Radar quickly found himself half a dozen and had them bagged up (a real chip off the old block).  Chaos in the car park, an almost squished dog (lucky escape), hashers not paying attention, lots of colourful hats and wigs, the mutterings about hash cash but that was all about to be forgotten as we were off...


Trail:  A wonderfully hilly, snowy and sunny trail, starting up out of the garden (for those who were listening) and a false sense of security as the trail was incredibly (not to mention indelibly) well marked at the start, with a separate path for runners and walkers – how very impressive.  Lost Boy was true to his name – apparently there are only 2 pubs called the Vine south of Manchester and he managed to find the other one. 

A few falsies early on in the trail, some shortcutting up to the top, a lovely view too but we weren’t stopping, on-on to a downhill, only to be caught out by missing the cheeky loop around the trees.  Tweeny kept up the momentum and motivation with his Cleese-esque calls and elaborate horn-blowing. 

Back up to the proper summit and some welcome Gluvein to warm us at the HH.  Some spectacular press-ups across the stones from one of the BH3 boys but an equally impressive tribute to this Easter weekend from young Darth Vader.  A great photo opportunity and we were on-on again, starting off with a black run down to the path where Easily Led was nearly easily pushed (!) the luscious, deep snow preventing any falling.

Some more beautiful, gently declining snow-running down to the second HH at the Hill Tavern, where Game Bird was up for it and got her legs over Leg Over – this wife-carrying lark really is taking off!  A swift half downed, some blue hash markings missed and we were off for another uphill before heading back down again to the on inn.


Down downs: awarded by Tweeny (does this man do everything?) to the hares: Tweeny, Penelope Pitstop (once retrieved from her car), Pot Belly and whoever the other one was and an accompanying hare’s song to go with it.  Next, to anyone for singing a song (the ruder the better, apparently), the Belgian visitor entertained us with her little ditty; we were treated to the hashing Lord’s Prayer; the noisiest dog in the world and then to anyone who wants one really.
Great fun, great run, great people, great food!  (Just mind the children during down downs!)
Hot Lips x

p.s. in the spirit of BH3’s repertoire of hash songs, I’ve made up my own little ditty to mark this occasion (to the tune of jingle bells)

Hashing through the snow on Easter Saturday
Up Clent hills we climb laughing all the way
The snow is very deep and soft under our feet
Daft hats and wigs and great big twigs
Pure madness all the way

Oh! Hares and hounds, lost and found, hashing all the way
Hear that horn and we’re on on, Tweeny’s on his way
Hey! Hares and hounds, lost and found, hashing all the way
Lots of fun to walk or run on Easter Saturday