Saturday, 24 November 2012

The Cock and Magpie, Bewdley

# 227

Date: Thursday 22nd November 2012
Pub: The Cock and Magpie, Bewdley
Food: posh fish and chips
Beer: Cockerhoop, EPA, Guinness, Strongbow, Kronenburg, Stella
Hare(s): Doggy Fashion and Dr Whiplash
Virgins: none
Visitors: none

Trail: Wet, wet, wet!  It was amazing anybody turned up at all this evening as the torrential rain hammered down, leaving us all wondering if there would actually be a trail to follow.  All we really wanted to do was skip the run & head straight to the on inn but we were rallied round by Father Christmas’s positive spirit as she got us all watching the beauty of the rain splashing up from the car park in the car headlights…                                                                                                   Nevertheless, 16 hashers and Demon Dog (looking more like drowned rat) bravely set off following the falsies until one of the hares finally identified the correct trail.  Along the river, up to Bark Hill and to the first HH, where Game Bird was ribbed for her lack of refreshments and for hiding her assets.  Winding down through the streets and alleyways where some paths were certainly slippery when wet and the Amateur got into a bit of a scrape.  An impromptu HH to make sure we all made it, then back down, past Ribbesford church and down to the next HH under the bypass, where Bewdley Bill’s artwork was – ahem – admired.  This would have been a lovely trail but the inclement weather finally beat us resulting in everyone shortcutting back along the river to the on inn.

Down downs: awarded by stand-in RA, Shag, to the hares: the dog & the doc, who’s drinks were also romantically attached; Father Christmas for only coming once a year (although she pointed out that she’d actually already come twice this year!); then there were nominations for the final down down: 1) Hard On for his on inn entertinment – he’s sexy and he knows it (???); 2) Tits or Treats for taking a pee under the HH bridge;  3) Game Bird for what she had tucked in her knickers and 4) Hot Lips for her Bridget Jones fiasco – Hot Lips got the down down.

Hot Lips x

Next week: The Talbot, Cleobury Mortimer (food at Game Bird’s mum’s afterwards - BYO drinks please)
This Sunday  25th November, 11am, The Fox Inn, Hanley Broadheath, joint hash with Oxford HHH (families welcome too)

Monday, 19 November 2012

Eagle & Serpent, Kinlet

Eagle & Serpent, Kinlet
Food: Chilli and jackets, or cheesy beans and jackets
Ale: Hobsons Mild, Hobsons Town Crier, Enville Ale, Robertsons Cider, a dry martini (shaken not stirred) for Berto
Hares: The Amateur & Penelope Pitstop

Another muddy Hash

There was an undefinable tension in the air as the hashers met at The Eagle & Serpent. Was it the return of Troll? Was it the mysterious disappearance of Penelope Pitstop after laying the trail with The Amateur? Or was it something else…….love maybe?

As the intrepid hashers set off, with the hollow words 'it's only about 4 miles' ringing in their ears, several whispered conversations tried to establish what was going on. Rumours circulated, and it seemed as though love was definitely in the air…..but who was it? Despite a number of people being in the frame, it turns out it was only The Gift Who Keeps On Giving…..namely Berto AKA Hard on! He'd only been pimping himself out.

Ladies, for £250 (what a bargain), you can have yourself an evening out with the pride of Clown Hill, the Italian Stallion, the one and only Berto. He won't touch, he'll be a gent, and he's a spitting image of Robbie Williams. Who could ask for more?! Crossdresser and Shag were heard to mutter bitterly, that if could get £250, they were surely good for £300! Sounds both optimistic and jealous.

Anyway, it's fair to say that all this love talk pre-occupied the hash, (apart from Shag, who was too busy be bagging Wrong) keeping it's collective mind off the knee deep mud, testing terrain and holes filled with sharpened sticks. Some tried feebly to determine where Penelope was tied up, but gave up fairly quickly. Wet Wipe tried to keep his trainers clean, Tits or Treats tried to stay on her feet and Troll realised it was nothing like Battersea Park!

BTW, it turns out Berto was lying about the £250! He did it for free, probably just in case he got the opportunity to show off his waxed torso!

Down Downs: The Amateur for an outstanding hash, Troll for leaving that London behind and getting his shoes dirty, Tits or Treats for a 2 1Ž2 tucked somersault, Wrong for allowing himself to be undressed by Shag

Crossdresser        Guest blogger

Saturday, 10 November 2012

Three Crowns & Sugar loaf, Kidderminster

Where's Wally fancy dress Hash
We found Wally!

# 225
Date: Thursday 8th November
Pub: The Three Crowns and Sugar Loaf, Kidderminster
Food: off the menu
Beer: Banks’s, Sneck Lifter, Ringwood, 49er, Strongbow cider
Hares: Cinderella & Darth Radar
Virgins: Phil, James & Jordan
Visitors: Carina

Trail: over 25 Wallys, Wendas, Oddlaws and Woofs (sadly, no Wizard Whitebeards) for tonights Where’s Wally hash, laid by the youngsters in a where’s the flour theme!  We all missed Doggy Fashion & Tit or Treats hiding in the car park and off we set down towards Franche, with a twisty-turny route onto Wilton Avenue and back out onto the Franche road and into the White Wickets field for the first HH, where we didn’t have to find Wally’s key or Wenda’s camera but we did have a few sweets.  Next, up towards the Briars, through Ferndale and onto the cornfields for the 2nd HH; again, we didn’t have to find Wizard Whitebeard’s scroll or Oddlaw’s binoculars but had some more sweets and some fizz.  Up to Low Habberley and into Habberley Valley, where it really was a case of where’s the flour!  To Peckett’s rock for the 3rd HH, where everyone actually stopped this evening!  We didn’t have to look for Woof’s bone but one of our virgins was caught looking for his clothes.  Out of the valley, cutting back down below the golf course, down to the Bridgnoth Road & back to the on inn.

Down downs: awarded by Doggy Fashion to Cinderella and Darth Radar for their wonderful hash – thanks kids! To our virgins, Phil & James, and also to Jordan for turning up in dayglow laces, relieving himself in public and then asking the RA for wet wipes back at the on inn, therefore earning him the name “Wet Wipe;” for the 2 birthday boys: Clodhopper & Who’s the Daddy; and for Game Bird to show our appreciation for her clever cup cakes (next week’s creation might need certification…)

Hot Lips x

Next week: The Eagle and Serpent, Kinlet. Wear off road shoes!!!

Who's the Daddy in his birthday suit!

Birthday cup cakes for birthday boys
 Clodhopper and Who's the Daddy

Saturday, 3 November 2012

The Greyhound,Norton

# 224
Date: Thursday 1st November 2012
Pub: The Greyhound, Stourbridge
Food: off the menu
Beer: Jennings, Banks’s Bitter, Guinness, Strongbow, Bulmers
Hares: Cleopatra, Hot Lips & Windy Miller
Virgins: Just Kate
Visitors: Rank & Jamie
Well it is Halloween and we're laying the Hash.
Trail: mud, mud and a bit more mud for this Trick or Treat spectacular!  A wonderful turnout of 30 Halloween hashers, (almost) all dressed up as spooky skeletons, ghastly ghouls and wicked witches for a 4-miler around the Staffordshire countryside (the 1st trick).  Starting off with a daring dash down Racecourse lane before getting off road.  Some lovely lanes and fields to the first 2 HH’s with lots of spooky sweets too but afterwards, the trail just got muddier & muddier.  A curfew back at the on inn caused panic at the 3rd HH with the whole hash shortcutting back for tea – boo!  Lovely Halloween cupcakes for Lassie’s birthday – thanks Game Bird!

Down downs: awarded by Doggy Fashion to the 3 Halloween hares; Hash Quack for the best Halloween costume; Just Kate, the virgin; our special guest, Den; Torchy the Battery Boy for losing a shoe in the deepest mud; and finally, to Just Andrea, for turning up to a hash last December, falling & injuring her ankle, not to be seen again until now; therefore earning herself a christening: Father Christmas.
Mentions: The husband & wife combo turning up to a fancy dress hash with one in the best costume and the other in no costume at all!  Worst “costume” therefore goes to Get Down Shep & also to Well Laid.  The “terrible trio” had a few scary treats for Doggy Fashion at the on inn; spit-washing, tights and leopard print boxers???  Hmmm. 
…And was it really a full moon out there or was Doggy Fashion lighting the way with her newly-polished gnashers?

Hot Lips x

After the REALLY muddy bit! Conspiracy amongst the hares!!
" ...I nearly had to leave Hot Lips and Windy Miller behind!"

Next week: The Three Crowns & Sugar Loaf, Kidderminster – Where’s Wally fancy dress
Hares needed for future trails please! Please let Clodhopper know if you can lay one

Copulation would like to do the Berlin marathon – please let him know if you are interested too.  He would also like a group skiing trip to be arranged for the first week in February 2013 – again, please let him know if you are interested.