Friday, 8 February 2013

The Fountain, Tenbury Wells


Date: 7 February 2013
Pub: The Fountain, Tenbury Wells
Beers etc: Hobson's Twisted Spire (although the landlord was loathed to connect another barrel), John Smiths, Vimto
Food:  Chicken curry and rice, veg curry and rice 
Visitors: None
Virgins: None

I'd love to describe what happened as people arrived from miles around, gathering at The Fountain, Tenbury for a Shag Special. But as young WetWipe had arrived late in Kidderminster, no amount of speeding and dodgy overtaking could get me there on time. However, my lateness was rewarded with the glorious sight of literally hundreds just over 20 hardy hashers.

Shag launched into an interesting narrative that was more like a therapy session. He described his awkward, gangly self as a teenager, his admission of frauduantly making the Cross Country Team, and his long standing battle with drug and alcohol addiction. Only one of those facts is made up.

We set off down the lanes, the pace high and a frisson of latent tension. Copulation complained that he didn't need his off road shoes, unaware of the pleasures to come. We arrived at the first Hash Halt without incident, and then everything changed. Mud up to our thighs, following spots of flour and mangled bits of inner tube. Those who didn't have Copulation-type grip soon became unstuck, mimicking new born foals. 

Having consulting EU Directive 1564 on safe river crossing, the hash got it's feet very wet. Except for those delicate ladies and Early Riser who were heroically piggy-backed across by CrossDresser. Be still, your beating hearts!

A tour of sheltered accommodation was simply the appetiser for the main course that was Muddy Lane. The Pro remarked that in her day, there was a lot more undergrowth. She spent some of the best times of her formative years in the undergrowth down that lane. We squelched through, jumping puddles and avoiding the ripped up love notes of Shag's angst-ridden childhood. Then we got back to the pub. Simples.

Down downs: Shag for a excellent hash, Torchy for kicking the dog, Crossdresser for being brilliant and sticking up for gay people, Wet Wipe for lateness, Early Riser for bothering to turn up & Russell Sprout because we haven't seen him in a while.
Fighting: None

Next Week: 'Brackenhurst', Dowles Road, Bewdley DY12 2RD

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