Monday, 16 September 2013

Met at Kinver Edge Farm Shop, after at the Constitution Club, Kinver


Date: Thursday 12th September
Venue: meet at Kinver Edge Farm Shop, after at the Constitution Club, Kinver
Food: off the menu
Beers: The biggest collection I’ve ever seen: Holy Cow, Bonkers Conkers, Golden Glow, Hobson’s Best, Town Crier, Enville Ginger, Hereford Pale, Cleric’s Cure, Holden’s Special, Black Pear, Enville Ale. Ciders: Stowford Press, Westons Wyld Wood
Hares: Game Bird & Bubbles, although Bubbles copped out of actually running the route 
Visitors: Shirley & the Duracell Bunny
Virgins: none

Trail: Loads of hashers (about 30) this drizzly evening, only a couple of hashlings and one wammal (Maisie, who only made a guest appearance at the start) and plenty of shorts and knee-length socks – well done everyone! And so the joker briefed us: “it’s laid in wood-based derivatives on the left side of the path… until you see them on the right side of the path… then there’s lots of down… then there’s lots of up…” Oh please, let’s just get on with it shall we?

Off we set, some up the lane, others down the lane, some of us got it right and everyone else followed until we reached the first check… Which way should we go? No one knows, maybe the hare will know? Oh, no, she doesn’t? Oh well, let’s just make it up then shall we? The usual suspects were out at the front, checking out the possibilities, Hash Quack going one way, the Amateur going the other, the rest of us already chancing an opportunity to head straight back to the pub.

Oh yes, it’s this way, she remembered, so off we went, still none the wiser as no “wood based derivatives” had been seen yet anyway. The next check caused just as much confusion and we spent 10 minutes running up and down various routes – yes, this is it, no, there’s nothing, yes this is it, no, there’s a cross, actually this is it! The hare was out at the front, desperately trying to remember her way around, yet it seemed that her co-hare had set her up to fail and was probably sitting in a warm cosy pub somewhere laughing to himself.

The HHs were stumbled upon in no particular order. Occasional hashers claimed to have found the trail, however, we still looked like a disorganised search party. Poor Game Bird spent as much time checking out the route as we did and was noticeably delighted when she found her own trail, flailing her arms around in the air and whooping along!

And so, despite the rain & the total chaos, we somehow made it back to the cars for just after 8. Was it Quantum physics? Quantum mechanics? Or was it just that we Quant be bothered anymore? Your guess is as good as mine…

Meanwhile back at the Constitution Club, Bubbles was hardly recognizable as he sat at the bar, looking like a cross between some 60s glam rock star and Paul Weller, buying everybody drinks!

Down downs: Game Bird and Bubbles for the worst hash ever, a lack of drinks and Bubbles being the birthday boy in a wig; Shirley (Dr Jeckyll’s wife); the Duracell Bunny for his new shoes, Cleopatra – comin’ at ya; and a naming for Sue: Hairy Bush.

Hot Lips x

Next week: The Sun, Romsley, B62 0LA

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