Ye Olde Seven Stars, Kidderminster

# 270

Date: Thursday 5th September 2013

Pub: Ye Olde Seven Stars, Kidderminster

Food: homemade meat / veggie chilli & baked potatoes

Beers: Abbot Ale, Great White Geek (especially for 2 of the hares), Old Speckled Hen, Silver King, Sneck Lifter. Ciders: Thatchers Gold, Stowford Press, Strongbow

Hares: The 3 Musketeers

Visitors: Mike (Compost’s mate)

Virgins: none

Trail: It started out as total and utter chaos, with 17 hashers and half a dozen hashlings, all very excitable and distracted right from the start. The GM found it difficult to lay down any sort of law and order and swiftly sent them off to check it out, which they did, all of them in the wrong direction! This gave the 3 musketeers another chance for yet another dodgy selfie as they stood for what seemed like an age, waiting for the hashers to return.

And so, finally on the right track, the flock headed up Blackwell Street and towards the Horsefair. Not much checking out at the start and they mostly moved as a collective this evening, much to their detriment as they would later find out. Lassie being one of the few to branch out on his own, only to find himself high and dry on the ring road. The 3 musketeers sauntered behind.

Through St George’s park, Shag looking very pleased with himself for noticing the landmark miniature stone circle. Cutting up towards St George’s church, where the flock went off in search of imaginary flour, led by young Lost Skywalker. Another chance for the 3 musketeers to have a little chat before calling them back, although the RA was not amused by the use of hand signals.

Trenchfoot, Copulation & Hash Quack ventured out on their own for a while as there were more checks than you could shake a stick at (much to the disgust of 2 of the musketeers). A few more of the flock went running off a little too far and had to be reigned in, before they all found their way into Baxter Gardens.

Copulation headed off for a game of tennis and had to be called back across the park and up to Hurcott Road. The 3 musketeers waited patiently whilst Lost Skywalker led the flock in the wrong direction yet again (there’s a clue in his name!) Trenchfoot, Shag and Doggy Fashion had the upper hand for a while as they had realised the aim of the game – to follow the spots of flour, not the youngest hashling who claimed he knew where he was going.

And so, back down into the Horsefair, where we were hoping to meet Legover, who was arriving fashionably late. Whiplash was left hanging around on the street corner whilst the rest of us descended down towards Waterside Grange. The flock was herded over to the climbing frame for the first HH and all were rewarded with sweet treats regardless. Another wonderful photo opportunity for Cross Dresser, before checking out the next part of the route.

Legover, the latecomer, was found to be encouraging walking amongst the hashers and was swiftly reprimanded. Most of the flock actually took the correct route for once, looping around the houses and down onto the canal, with Lost Skywalker the FRB, whilst Shag and Doggy Fashion shortcutted to meet them (the 3 musketeers obviously took that route for more photo shooting of course).

Game Bird became more like Mary Poppins or Nanny McPhee, attending to and encouraging the hashlings along this straight stretch of tow-path. All were treated to a “Hash View” of the winged sculptures across the water but this was the calm before the storm: a very sneaky check back took the hashers half a mile upstream before having to return to the lock to pick up the right trail. I think it was lucky that none of the musketeers were pushed into the canal at this point!

More aimless following of non-trails, no-one really paying any attention to where the hares were heading, despite calls of “are you?” until Trenchfoot finally stumbled over some flour. The hashlings had again talked Shag into piggy-back rides. The RA, not to be outdone, got herself her own ride down the field too although her tight-gripping thighs were almost too much to bear. Plays with IT and Russell Sprout lit up the undergrowth with their premature beams and Copulation was spotted by one of his own – evening all.

A mad dash across the open field, a swing on the high bars for Copulation and an unexpected dip in the stream for Hot Lips was followed by beers and more sweets. The RA apparently needed cooling down after her ride and was treated to a dip too. The waterproof phone cover really does what it says – excellent!

Cleopatra was pointed in the right direction as the trail double-backed over itself but still managed to not quite get it right. The rest of the hash had to be called back yet again, as these twists and turns left them exasperated and untrusting. Up towards Sion Hill, then cutting back down through Springfield Park and along the path out to Broadwaters.

The hashlings were now trying to talk Legover into piggy-back rides up the hill but they met with some resistance. They regained their energy at the final HH as they found the trampoline whilst Pimms cocktail was served to the adults. Hot Lips changed out of her wet t-shirt and Doggy Fashion nicked Trenchfoot’s newly acquired top.

More chaos and hand signals to help the hashers wind through the alleyways onto the Birmingham Road and the long straight to the on inn. Lost Skywalker kept the pace way out front with Hash Quack, whilst Game Bird’s childminding skills had by now gone a bit awry and she was losing hashlings all over the place. Despite the chaos, everyone returned safely to enjoy a lovely feast.

Down downs: the longest list ever awarded by Doggy Fashion to the 3 musketeers: Cross Dresser, Dr Whiplash and Hot Lips for their chaotic hash with the worst falsies ever but some great sweets (plus Hot Lips’s spectacular slip into the stream); Lost Skywalker for his ability to led everyone astray at any given opportunity; Legover the disruptive latecomer; Game Bird for her childminding; Shag for his piggy backs; Trenchfoot for his welcome return (also for letting DF wear his brand new hash t-shirt); Plays with IT and Russell Sprout for glowing in the dusk and finally to Charlie’s Angels: Sabrina (Mia), Selina (Charlie) and Tilly (Amelie).

Hot Lips x

Next week: Kinver Edge Farm Shop, Church Hill (afterwards at the Constitutional Club, Kinver – Bubbles’s birthday hash)

The Olde Seven Stars Hash by Lassie Garmin Connect - Details