Scarecrow Hash, Belbroughton

#218

Date: Thursday 27^th September

Pub: The Talbot, Belbroughton

Food: meat / veggie balti, rice & naan

Beer: Scarecrow (plus a few others)

Cocktails: Strawberry kiss

Hares: Compost, Lassie & Pole Vault

Virgins: none

Visitors: none

Trail: Another good turnout for the scarecrow hash this evening; the fancy dress efforts greatly helped by Tits or Treats’ bag of straw.  A gentle run around the village and surrounding countryside, with a beautiful sunset and almost full moon to light the way… oh wait, no, that’s Torchy the Battery Boy’s latest floodlight; used as a strobe to sabotage some of the hashers’ performance and only turned off with the threat of a shotgun! 

Down downs: Awarded by Aunt Sally to Saint for his poor scarecrow attempt leaving him looking more like a Mexican, a farting Mexican at that! Hard On for looking like the lovechild of Fireman Sam & an Oompa-Loompa but also being so deluded that he proceeded to tell his dining buddies that he was actually very much like Robbie Williams!!  Unlaced for being the best-dressed scarecrow and finally to Tits or Treats for ripping a gate off it’s hinges – the final straw!

Special mention to Hash Quack and Shag for their marathons last weekend (particularly as Shag managed to have a full English halfway round!)

• Good luck to Crossdresser, Game Bird & Shag for their forthcoming Triathlon this weekend.
• Also to Lassie doing the multi terrain Waseley Wobbler this Sunday.
• Hash Quack is also trying to arrange some more swimming sessions – let her know if you’re interested.

Hot Lips x

Next week: The Bell, Pensax

: The Kings Arms, The Crown and Sands, The Wishing Well, Spice Fusion…..and half of Worcestershire

#217

Venue: The Kings Arms, The Crown and Sands, The Old Leaking Well, Spice Fusion…..and half of Worcestershire

Food: Curry in the end

Beer: Plenty of great ale in all the pubs (which meant none for us), Cobra in Spice Fusion

Hare: Game Bird & Half a Bag

Visitors: none

Virgins: none

The hash: Was it a hash? Was it a cruel test of stamina? Was it a training run for Hash Quack. No one's entirely sure, least of all the hares. Game Bird and Half A Bag walked around for a bit the night before, doing quite a lot of chatting. Therefore, they forgot some crucial aspects of a hash, namely a trail, checks, or crosses. They did include hash halts, once every 3 or 4 miles. Long stretches along the River Severn gave hashers an opportunity to enjoy the views and wildlife………IF IT WASN'T 9'O'CLOCK AND PITCH BLACK!

The combination of distance and route confusion lead to hashers being scattered far and wide in the dark. Not even the combined lumens of Tough Love (soon to be renamed Torchy The Battery Boy) and Hard On could light up enough of the fields to keep people together. An advance party set off, without realising, to establish a bridgehead back at the pub. Unfortunately, the relentless pace of Hash Quack spat Lady Penelope out of the back, and she was desperate for a wee, which didn't help!

The fellow hashers returned over the next day or so 20 mins, although the shout of 'Anyone seen Alison?' lasted a lot longer. After another pub rejected us, we 'got ourselves a convoy' to Spice Fusion, for a thorough debrief (in Game Bird's case, literally) and a delicious curry. Most hashers were home by Friday.

Down-downs:

Game Bird for the 'hash', which had more miles than checks , more miles than crosses and more miles than food venues (just)

Clodhopper for having 'car park agorophobia' squeezing in between two cars in an otherwise nearly empty car park. Good job Wrong wasn't there!

Crossdresser and The Saint for trying to match the pace of Hash Quack once lost, and only just living to tell the tail

Hard On for ensuring he wasn't out-shone by Torchy the Battery Boy

The other hare, Half A Bag, had already decided it was too late to hang about, so her down down is carried over….

Next weeks Hash: The Talbot, Belbroughton

Guest Blogger Cross Dresser

Lock Inn, Wolverley

# 216

Date: Thursday 13^th September 2012

Pub: The Lock Inn, Wolverley

Food: meat / veggie chilli & chunky chips (with spoons!!!!)

Beers: Marston’s beers, Strongbow & Thatcher’s Gold ciders

Hare: Saint

Visitors: none

Virgins: none

Crossdresser commended Copulation for his forthcoming Great North run

Trail: A distinct lack of ladies this evening but nevertheless a lovely 5-mile trail around Wolverley for just 15 hashers, 3 kids and 2 hounds.   We were lucky to find the trail at all apparently, as some kids followed Saint around kicking out the spots!  First up to the church, down through the village, across a field of horses and back down towards the village (I don’t think we were ever too far from the on-inn for this one) Down to the canal, up the 37 steps and along a narrow path where some of us missed the right trail - oops!  Down to Broadwaters park, with a lovely light show at the final halt.  Back through Springfield park, where we hope we didn’t disturb the bat watchers, finally back along the canal and to the on inn.

Doggy Fashion turned up for dinner and down downs again, awarding them to Saint, the hare; Tough Love for his newly acquired exceedingly bright headlight (earning him the name Torchy the Battery Boy); Dr Whiplash for his part in getting Tough Love, Shag, Cinderella & Hot Lips lost (not to mention him pushing Crossdresser and Shag into the stream at Springfield); Richard for getting lost before he’d even turned up; Spotted Dick for his kit contribution to the army hash (and breaking his toe!) and finally, jointly, to Hot Lips and Hard On for the three-legged incident.

Hot Lips x

Next week: The Kings Arms, Ombersley

PS  Hot Lips I’m quizzing to raise funds for Sight Concern next week so would be very grateful if someone could write the blog, many thanks x 

Ye Olde White Harte, Kinver

# 215

Date: Thursday 6^th September 2012

Pub: Ye Olde White Harte, Kinver

Beers: Banks bitter

Food: off the menu

Hare: Clodhopper

Virgins: none

Visitors: Dr Whiplash (Leamington Spa)

Trail: A fine, late summer’s evening saw about 20 hashers, 4 mini hashers and a couple of canine hashers in the picturesque Kinver.  Shag was momentarily halted in a 50 shades sort of way into the car park and had to resort to mobile distraction therapy but he was soon looking to go halves with Crossdresser on the meal deal.  A hilly and sandy one tonight around Kinver Edge.   Crossdresser left his ability to count on the Isle of Skye and called on-on along a falsie – we almost thought we’d lost him and the Amateur.  Plenty of fruity sweets to help us along the way – they certainly worked wonders for Batman & Darth Radar who remained amongst the FRBs right until the end – well done boys!  Torches required for the final furlong and a few bats encountered on the way back to the on-inn too. 

Doggy Fashion turned up for dinner and down-downs, awarding them to Clodhopper for his trail of a questionable mileage, plus finding out that he also forgot part of his own trail too, trying to send us the wrong way; Crossdresser for his poor numeracy skills; Tits or Treats for falling over Shag (misinformation as it was actually the Amateur that fell over Shag and the Pro but who really cares?); Dr Whiplash, tonight’s virgin whom we hope we haven’t put off; Wrong for LONG-cutting – that’s just SO wrong; Just Alan was named Slim Boy Fat and finally, Batman and Darth Radar for their impressive front running

Hot lips

Next week: The Lock, Wolverley

The Baiting House, Upper Sapey

# 214

Date: Thursday 30^th August 2012

Pub: The Baiting House, Upper Sapey

Beers: Butty Bach, HPA, Guinness

Food: meat/veggie lasagne & chips followed by Major Bills’ army hash cakes

Hares: Corporal Shag and Major Bills

Virgins: Rosie and Cliff

Visitors: Dangerous Dave

Trail: Another excellent turn out this evening for our army hash – around 30 adults, a couple of kids, all kitted out in camo gear, plus the usual pack of hounds – even Charlie had his warpaint on!  First up, the assault course in the field beyond the pub car park – the tyres, then the scramble net where Shag and Batman took no prisoners and superbly soaked all those going under!  We almost had a mishap when Babooshka managed to run free but Hot Lips caught her before she went AWOL.  Off down the road and into the boggy fields, just one hash halt this evening with a fine selection of sweets.  Down through the dense undergrowth, slip-sliding down and round to the next assault - the waterfall climb.  Half the hashers climbed it and came back down through the caves (Captain Caveman was in his element!), the rest of us just posed for photos at the bottom!  Winding back down through cornfields and road to the river Teme at Stanford Bridge where the final assault was to cross the river.  A few tried and (just about) succeeded, Captain Caveman almost got washed away but regailed this as the best fun ever!  We almost lost the virgins too, as the rope across the river gave way, but all were safe (thankfully).  Ironically, we did manage to lose 2 hashers who had broken free from the platoon.  The rest of us made the trip back up the hill on the tractor trailer with a bit of a sing-song along the way too!  A welcome warm up from the woodburning stove back at the Bait, some lovely food, lovely beer, lovely army hash cakes from Major Bills, presents for Luke and a heartfelt text from Crossdresser all the way from the Isle of Skye.  Truly a hash to remember!

Down downs: awarded by Doggy Fashion to Corporal Shag and Major Bills for their original hash; Virgins Rosie and Cliff (glad they weren’t washed away), visitor Dangerous Dave (very aptly named for tonight’s trail); Cyclopath and Get Down Shep for going AWOL; Hard On just for being himself and finally to Italian Job as it’s his leaving do.

Hot Lips

Next Week: Ye Olde White Hart, Kinver

Doggy Fashion’s Drill for Italian Job

I don’t know but I’ve been told

When Luke was born they broke the mould

Can he be Roberto’s son?

Maybe the wife was having some fun

He likes a game of towel flick

But don’t catch your dad on his dick

We will miss his buff torso

When he is a commando

They’ll be farting in the dorm

It will keep you really warm

But don’t bend over in the shower

Or you’ll be in there for an hour

He has even learnt to iron

He’ll be sharing a bunk with Private Ryan

Up all night rubbing his gun

There’s no time for girls or fun

He has been a superstar

In his career he will go far

We can’t wait ‘til he’s on leave
When he comes back we’ll be really pleased