The Talbot, Newnham Bridge

Hash 314

Date: Thursday 26th June 2014
Pub: The Talbot, Newnham Bridge
Beers/ciders: HPA, Hobson's Best
Food: the best sausage & mash with carrots & red cabbage & some rather average veggie pasta
Hare: The Amateur
Visitors:virgins: None

Trail: Amateur's Trail of Tall Triffids

2 car parks was confusing enough for me but once we had parked in the overspill I remembered that the Pro & Penelope Pitstop had laid a trail from here a year ago... Not that that helped at all.

We were a bit thin on the ground again - people had obviously taken heed of the Amateur's Facebook warning (or get out clause) and chosen to stay at home.

Tits or Treats and Bushwacker had started on the ale early, and the Amateur had been half eaten alive & was already looking a little anxious (or was he just missing something?)

Copulation was ready to stand in as GM, the state of his running shorts showed he could be ready for anything! This was too much for poor Clodhopper to cope with.

Game Bird was sporting the brightest orange T-shirt ever, meanwhile Doggy Fashion had arrived in her pyjamas and was hoping that the green fabric covered in pretty flowers would deter the insects... Oh well, here we go.

A little bit of road to get us warmed up first with before cutting across the fields. The cows thankfully stayed away as we ran through their territory & we avoided a stampede. The first of many stiles was encountered and we were straight into the wilderness.

Hash Quack & Annie dog remained the FRBs this evening, despite checking out lots of long falsies (just how does she do that?), whilst the Amateur hung back with the plodders at the back.

The grass was high and we worried that the Pro (who arrived late) might not see us as she ran in the opposite direction. Not even Game Bird's T-shirt could be bright enough in these fields! She must have radioed through or had access to tonight's plan as she caught up quite nicely.

Dr Whiplash was hash flashing, Comes First was feeling sleepy and Tits or Treats was removing clothes. Bushwacker was missing his partner in crime and we were all missing our GM & hash horn.

Some uphill, some downhill, more long grass and one of the worst stiles ever: Lassie got himself hooked, Copulation not only climbed the stile but the tree too, Crossdresser went over and the whole thing collapsed. Demon Dog threw himself at it whilst Golden Shower carried Babooshka over instead.

Then came the triffids - a long, slow incline through these giant crops, where steps had to be carefully taken to avoid being swallowed in the undergrowth. We were lucky to get out alive!

The final obstacle was the double stile: Copulation found it a good viewing point before launching himself off the top, we let Demon Dog through first to prevent any casualties although Bristols managed to get stuck in the middle with little sympathy from Golden Shower.

The hash was one long assault course (thankfully without too many bugs), the 4 halts were well stocked with Haribo, beers and juices, and the food back at the on inn was lovely, although Bushwacker required removal of a foreign body.

Was it the best hash ever or the worst? I'll let you decide... (I loved it!)

Down downs: awarded by Crossdresser to the Amateur for possibly the best hash ever - there were triffids, beers & sweets plus someone saw his nuts on the car park. Myself, for my own (carelessly stupid) version of hot pants; Game Bird for her recent feat of endurance... a weekend away with Bubbles! PJ Doggy Fashion - the worst dressed Hasher since Tits or Treats' impression of Mr Tumble; and finally to tonight's youngster, Bushwacker, who is just starting out in his career but is already suffering with work-related stress... Oh bless!

Hot Lips x

Next week: The Waggon & Horses, Bewdley, DY12 1DG

Doggy Fashion's 40th birthday - bring a windmill !!