Hill Farm, Hanley Childe

Date: Thursday 28th August 2014
Venue: Hill Farm, Hanley Childe
Food: Andy's homemade chilli & the Kerby sisters super sarnies & salads
Beers: Foxy Lady & BYO
Entertainment: Shag's mobile disco
Hares: The Pro & Trenchfoot
Visitors/virgins: Dennis the Menace

Trail: The Birthday Bingo & Barn Bash

Another lovely sunny evening for tonight's birthday hash. One lot of food was brought over from Kidderminster, whilst extra provisions were being prepared on the farm "just in case!" as extra guests had been invited for later.

The barn had been busily worked on and was just about ready and the mobile disco was already blasting out some tunes. Reception glasses of Bucks Fizz were handed out and birthday greetings were exchanged as tonight's new venue was admired.

Shag and Dr Whiplash were sporting their Stetsons; Shag had his checked shirt on too. Hopefully, everyone else has theirs for later...

We were little thin on the ground, about 17, with a couple of hounds, no GM or RA but Dr Jeckyll and Dennis the Menace both had the horn, much to Shirley's amusement, and we were all ready & raring to go.

The Pro lived up to her name in GMing & providing tonight's hash instructions, Trenchfoot preferring to stay in the shadows. Then round one of birthday bingo commenced...

Just a few numbers called before our bingo cards & pens were tucked away & we were sent up and out of the farm drive to check out the trail. Tits or Treats went running off down the hill, managed to pick up the trail & off we went.

Demon Dog left a Range Rover owner a pile of his best, poor Shirley almost choked on the fumes, whilst the 2 horny ones were battling for position. A little further on and In The Bush left a shoe in the mud but got little sympathy from anyone, not least Comes First!

An uphill path and gate made Trenchfoot realise he hadn't really got a clue but someone managed to pick up the trail and we headed up towards another cows and bull story. With Shag there, we knew we were safe in that field but who knew that cowboys shop at Lidl?

There was already a lack of motivation for running and we became the Wyre Forest Ramblers; Doggy Fashion was even going through the motions of running but getting nowhere! Luckily, HH1 was just at the end of this field.

More Bucks Fizz, some skittles, the obligatory photos and round 2 of the bingo. Eyes down for the first line... "Line" was soon called and there was the realisation of a lack of prizes. Shaggy kisses all round then!

Across the road and over onto the next field where DF and Shag were in cahoots over tonight's entertainment and I was sent packing.

Tonight's FRBs were mostly the Amateur, Dennis the Menace and Dr Whiplash although I didn't really see any FRB action as I spent the evening dawdling at the back with no hashling for an excuse! There were lots of falsies tho, so this kept us all together, in a fashion.

More sweets (jelly worms), bingo & kisses at the next HH, although the hashling line-winner was spared her prize in the name of common decency! Then, clutching our pens and now also using our torches we were off again.

The calm before the storm for this next bit! Some beautiful, scenic countryside, a few animals along the way too, plus some idyllic houses in a very picturesque spot that left Dr Jeckyll in awe.

A clearing in the woods saw the next HH with more sweets (chocolate minstrel-like thingies) and another game of bingo. The hashlings had now been recruited for the bingo calling and people were getting very excitable! A few lines, a few more kisses but no full house yet.

The Pro warned of our next encounter - the dark & dingey dingley bit, where torches would definitely be required. I should have taken Well Laid up on her earlier offer but thought I would manage with the light on my smart phone - not really that smart but thankfully Shirley's headlight shone brighter than Blackpool illuminations!

Just when we thought we were escaping the darkness, we emerged at the bottom of a field of giant corn & had to negotiate the uphill mudslide along with the stingiest of nettles & brambles to boot too!

Dennis the Menace lost his footing on more than one occasion, I thought I had been stung by something with an inch-long sting but the commotion behind me sounded much worse. Shirley succumbed to the mud although managed to regain composure by the time she actually got to the top.

We all felt like the borrowers as we ran between the giant crops but at least our soles could get some purchase on this ground. Back out onto the road, turn left at the Tally-Ho and the light of the farmhouse was just in sight in the distance.

A gentle jog through the grassy field and we stumbled across the "on inn" just before the gate into the farm - I'll apportion that blame to Trenchfoot who probably doesn't know his way around!

The chef didn't seem at all angry at his other half at being abandoned in an unfamiliar kitchen! On the contrary, he relished the compliments for his culinary skills, all of course helped by a couple of Foxy Ladies!

The Pro & I were serenaded with "Happy birthday to you" and Bushwacker tried to fire up his chainsaw to "cut" the very delicate ribbon in the barn-opening ceremony. Sadly, the chainsaw failed so the ribbon was torn down instead and the barn was declared "open."

Down downs: awarded by Crossdresser, via the live link up (Shag's phone & a microphone), to

The Pro and Trenchfoot for their wonderful hash & being the birthday girl (The Pro, that is), 

Hot Lips for being the other birthday girl

Bushwacker for building his very first barn

Shirley somehow got 3 - one for falling, one for her holy trousers and another just to confuse us all (it did)

Dennis the Menace for his visitation

And finally to Comes First for thinking that Crossdresser was actually there! (Wishful thinking on everyone's behalf I think!)

Hot Lips x

Next week: the Eagle & Spur, Cookley, DY10 3TB

PS It would be great to know if you are coming so I can give the landlady an idea for numbers for food, thanks x

PPS Good luck to Rachel & Kim for tomorrow from all of us! Xx