Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Ye Olde Holt Castle, Holt Heath, in the Shire of Worcester

Hash 325
Date: Thursday 11th September 2014
Venue: Ye Olde Holt Castle, Holt Heath, in the Shire of Worcester
Beers: Guinness, Ye Olde Speckled Hen, Thatchers Gold cider
Food: meat / veggie chilli & rice
Hares: His majesty, King & Heir Flash and her grace, Queen Instant Whip
Visitors/virgins: yes, plenty (although most left before dinner)

Trail: His Majesty's Medieval Birthday Hash
Come hither ye all, lords, ladies, gentlemen, knights, archers, friars, princesses, peasants and wenches. Ye are gathered here this night for King Flash's birthday hash (although you wouldn't knoweth he was king, he's in one of his many disguises).
Gather round to hear him speaketh, two score and ten were counted (or there abouts). He remained holding the hand of her Highness, Queen Whip, as he toldeth of tonight's trail. The royal abacus worked out numbers for the following banquet, the horn was blown and we set off into the evening sun, in search of the floured trail.
Verily, it is so, that on on was soon called to the left, past ye olde church of St Martin. A few lanes later and we happened upon the first hash halt. The knights refrained from bloody battle but there may have been a scuffle over a Haribo or two...
Into the woodland next, before traversing Ball Mill Quarry, site of archaeological interest. It hath been revealed that this land was likely to have been orchard or hopyard area in the Romano-British period (3rd & 4th Century), with the settlement area lying further to the south. Brian was particularly lively around these parts - maybe he was going to do a little digging of his own.
Down to the river and the next HH, whither Annie dog completed the second leg of her duathlon - they sayeth that dogs are like their owners! More sweets, talk of battle charges & ale-quaffing and the GM sent us on on again. Some headed north, when in fact the trail went south along the River Severn.
Come hither into the cattle field, where those more unfortunate amongst us encountered the dead sheep, although none claimed it as their own, despite the flailing swords. Of course, one knight was caught severing a vegetable from it's plant in a neighbouring field - there's always one!
One of the wenches deciphered the hash view point code and most of us duly went to have a look, whilst the FRBs went in search of the trail instead. A little bit of road before HH3, whither we were rightly treated to the finest of ales and juices, meanwhile, someone had dropped something that would soon weigh his britches down...
Story of a short cut was told but the followers decided to battle through the dark wilderness, through the stingiest of nettles filled with blood-curdling cries and into the clearing for HH4. It was too dark to see anything, except for a lonesome knight sneaking away to findeth a good tree.
The final furlong took us through more woods with nervous horses nearby. Demon Dog needed help over a couple of styles, his owner requested help of a similar nature but later regretted it as it resulted in further problems with his britches.
A truly majestic hash, fit for a king, his queen and their people, and the best on inn in history: the on castle!
Much frivolity, yet more fair maidens, more beer-swilling and ale-quaffing. The court jester serenaded us beauteously with his mighty stringed instrument and there was a guest RA to master the ceremonies...

Down downs were enthusiastically awarded by Gone Commando to the former King's now jester Heir Flash and his fellow jesteress Instant Whip for their magnificent hash (although his wicked game of thrones prevented further hand-holding or canoodling of any sort)
Matt & Sarah, the virgins, were raucously named...
Rawhide, who had been hash flashing all night, was being revered for having the horn
Goody Goody Goo Shoes
Ben the beastly knight
Shag for the trouble with his britches
Dirty Habit
Sheep Shagger for being the best dressed knight
Denis the Menace for being the worst dressed...
Fare thee well one and all
Hot Lips x

Next (this) week: Ye Olde White Hart, Kinver, DY7 6HL

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